


Threads

by peppermintquartz



Series: Loki and Thor [1]
Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied Torture, Loki Has Trust Issues, M/M, Male Slash, Pseudo-Incest, Thanos is a Stalker, Thor Is Protective, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-06
Updated: 2012-06-30
Packaged: 2017-11-07 01:36:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/425478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppermintquartz/pseuds/peppermintquartz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is brought back to Asgard after the events on Earth. He is sentenced by Odin, but not in the manner he thought and definitely not what most believe Loki deserves. Through it all, Thor keeps a close eye on Loki.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Megaera

“You have lied, manipulated, murdered and shown no remorse, Loki. Though it pains me to see you thus, I must punish you severely to show you where you have not done right by your position as prince of Asgard.” Odin's expression was shadowed, as if by hidden grief, but Loki did not acknowledge the weariness in his foster father's eyes.

Instead he lifted his chin defiantly. The Midgardian gag was still in place, as were the shackles on his hands; Thor had wasted no time in bringing Loki to the All-Father's hall. There were few in attendance at this time of night. Apparently, Odin did not want the shaming of Loki made public to all, but Loki cared little for what the All-Father thought.

He cared little for what anyone thought. He had lost. He would take the punishment.

The gag did not hide the disdain in Loki's green eyes as he stared stonily at the person he used to think of as his father, the person he used to desire approval and love and acknowledgment from. Having been exiled once, Loki knew more now about the nature of relationships.

They were weak bonds, some declared through blood and some declared through fealty, but weak nonetheless. There was no man or god that could not be bought for a price.

Loki himself had been bought for a price.

He could sense Thor standing just behind Loki, where Loki could not view his expression. He wondered what the golden son of Asgard would say should he be the one on the throne, giving judgment.

“I, Odin All-Father, ruler of Asgard and all who dwell here, king of the æsir, have given thought to you and your mischief. I will therefore sentence you, Loki Odin's son (and here Loki scoffed, his sneer evident to the king), liar, trickster and murderer of many, to this: you will speak no word that you do not mean from the heart, and should you attempt to utter falsehood, your lips will be sewn shut for a score of hours. No food will pass your lips, nor drink, until the hours are passed, and you have reflected and repented of the act.”

As he took the implications of the punishment in, Loki braced himself for the stir of magic. Odin's magic was harsh, fierce and golden-hot-dry-endless; Loki's own magic was cold-sinuous-silky-deep, and warred at the feel of another's magic enveloping himself. Blood thundered in his veins and he couldn't hold back the snarl of pain as Odin's punishment settled into his bones and heart.

Odin suddenly looked small and frail. “Thor, remove his restraints and gag. Lead him to his room.”

“My room?” Loki was surprised. “It is still around?”

The surprise was obviously real. Thor regarded Loki almost fondly, almost like the way he used to back before the whole mess happened. “I would not have allowed them to change it, brother.”

Loki smiled thinly. “We are not brothers, Thor.” A fact; they were _not_ brothers. They had never been brothers, whatever Odin had said. A fact, and therefore not a lie, and why did Loki feel a faint sense of disappointment?

“We are as good as,” responded Thor, and led Loki down familiar corridors.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Loki felt a stirring of warmth as he stepped back into his original quarters. The room was as he had left it, his books in their proper positions, his lamps lit, his clothes hanging in the alcove. Despite himself, Loki was touched. They had kept his place for him.

“Why?” he asked.

“I believed you would return home, brother. I have only ever wanted you to come home again,” said Thor.

Thor was so naive, Loki thought. He smirked and regarded his supposed brother. “And again be in your shadow, Thor? To follow you as the Warriors Three? To be scorned and mocked for using my brain instead of mere muscle?”

He now knew how to get around Odin's spell; he just had to question, to inquire, to prod and poke without ever making a statement, or to state the bare facts. He could do this.

Thor growled. “You know that I have never wanted that. I just want you by my side-”

“Like a slave?”

“Not a slave, but as my brother!” shouted Thor, finally goaded past his patience. He grabbed Loki's wrists, still sore from the shackles, and shoved him against the wall. “Why can't you see what I’m trying to tell you?”

Loki merely smiled. “Because I am not your brother, Thor. And I never will be.”

“We grew up together, played together, fought together-”

“-and fought each other,” said Loki, quietly, still with the infuriating smile on his thin, pointed face.

Thor gazed at the slender man, whose smile had not reached his emerald eyes since... Thor could not recall when the last time he saw Loki truly smile. Perhaps at the ceremony, more than a year and a lifetime ago, when Thor was to receive kingship, and Loki was congratulating him.

Maybe not even then.

“Loki,” he said, voice so soft he could hardly believe it was himself saying it, “Loki, did you really mean to kill me, back on Midgard? When you dropped me from the flying craft?”

The dark-haired male looked at Thor. And then he pushed Thor away and strode to the bathing room without a word, trailing resentment and bitter fury all the way. “Leave. I am tired and need rest. I assume the room is secured, and Odin has himself seen to the magical precautions, so you need not fear that I will run.”

Thor sat down on the nearest chair and covered his face. He did not know how to get his brother to understand, not anymore, and he needed the answer so that he could sleep.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

“Father, bind Loki to me,” Thor asked immediately the next morning when Odin received his audience. The blond Asgardian had a troubled night, worrying about Loki, and spent the night sitting outside Loki's room, listening for the slightest movement. The fact that the lamps had been burning throughout the night had not escaped Thor either; Loki had not slept.

“Loki will not be willing to do so, Thor,” Odin remarked. “He will see it as another imprisonment. He might even kill you in order to flee. I will not risk you, for you will lead the æsir in the future.”

“Can your magic not bind our lives together, such that if one survives the other may not die? You are the All-Father, the one who has traversed the nine realms. Surely you can do that!”

Odin frowned and stood up. “Thor, my son, you know little of what you ask. To bind two lives together when one is clearly unwilling to take on the burden is unwise.”

“I can take on the burden for both,” Thor said.

“You are rash, and headstrong, and forgiving. Loki is not. This is in itself not a good combination. Do not ask me again for this, Thor.”

“Father,” Thor said, and it was the pleading look in his eyes that stopped Odin from ignoring his son. “Father, do you not want Loki back with us? Was that not why you allowed him his room, his magic? He can explore the kingdom still; he is not restrained.”

Odin was silent for a long time. “Thor, I love him as my own. I will always regret what I had to do, what I have done last night. But he is not trustworthy. Do you think I did not hear what he said to you, my son? That, even now, he plots how to overcome my spell to free his tongue? He is free to roam because he has nowhere to go; he cannot leave the protection of the palace. He has his room and his magic because I wish for him to understand something else. But I do not trust him, not with your life.”

Thor did not shake off his father’s hand when it rested on his shoulder. However, he raised his head and regarded Odin square in the eyes. “I still trust him, Father. I know he will try to provoke me, anger me, stir me into unwise action... but I trust that he will not try to kill me.”

“What happened in Midgard, Thor? Did he not make an attempt on your life?”

“Father, if he had sought my death on the flying craft, why would he have me leave before the Hulk started his rampage? If he had sought my death in the city, why did he not spear me but attack with a knife so small as to be a belt dagger, used for cutting meat off the bone? Loki... I believe that Loki, despite all he has done, has not wanted me to die, still does not plot my death.” Thor had spent all night thinking, unusual for him, but he had thought clearly. “Bind us so that he sees that I do not want him to perish either, not by his hands and not by others.”

Odin hesitated, and sighed. “You have always been too fast to trust, my son, but mayhaps you have a wisdom of youth that age no longer possesses.”

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Loki shut the grimoire, angered by its lack. In all the books there was no guide on how to remove Odin's spell; he must have crafted it himself.

No matter. Loki could keep silent. He had learned to keep words to himself ever since he met the Chitauri and the Other – even now he dared not think the name – and he had learned patience.

“Loki, please open the door.” There were three polite knocks on the door, though loud, and Loki knew it was his brother – no, the person who thought himself Loki's brother.

Apparently Loki was not the only one who had learned. Thor had learned courtesy, for in the past Thor would barge in without even a request or an apology, and often Loki had to fashion a glamor of clothes to hide his nude form when Thor saw fit to invade his privacy.

Thor knocked again, and this time Loki opened the door. “What is it you want, Thor?” asked Loki.

“Father wishes to speak with us,” said the blond Asgardian.

Loki exhaled heavily and walked into the room, reaching for one of his favorite tunics. Its deep green with gold embroidery enhanced the paleness of his skin delicately, and Frigga had made him the belt herself. He touched it, reminded of happier, more innocent times, and exhaled again.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

“Thor wishes it. Would you accept it?” Odin asked after he explained the spell.

“I suppose I must,” said Loki, seething with rage but not showing it. “He is very... thoughtful to have come up with this idea.”

Thor looked askance at Loki. “Is that truly what you think of me? Thoughtful?”

Loki said nothing.

Odin sighed and commanded, “Reach out and grasp your left hands.”

One large, tanned paw caught hold of a slender, cold one; Loki grimaced with distaste but kept still his tongue. He had no wish to have his lips sewn shut. The king's staff touched their joined hands and again the invasion of Odin's Asgardian magic fought and defeated Loki's own protective magic,and wrapped another layer around his cold Jotunn heart.

Thor did not release Loki's hand, but looked at the dark-haired male with a strange, tender gaze. “Brother, we are as one now. Our hearts forever linked, and our lives intertwined. Forget our strife; remember we are brothers.”

“I am not your brother,” snapped Loki, snatching his hand away, and escaping to his room once more.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

This time Thor did not knock, but Loki had been expecting him. Thor sat on Loki's unmade bed, studying his brother who glared at him. “You are angry,” Thor noted.

“As you can see,” said Loki. “Your observation skills have improved since the last time you were in here.”

“Why are you angry?” asked Thor, not paying heed to Loki's jeering tone.

Telling himself to be patient, Loki slammed his bedroom door shut and leaned his forehead against it. He had to be calm, to think of ways to mislead Thor, to anger him – an angry Thor was always easier to manipulate than a serene, peaceful Thor. He had not got used to this version of Thor: calmer, more thoughtful, more introspective. Loki wanted more time, more space. He needed more time and space to think.

And suddenly he was trapped, bracketed by large arms and a warm torso behind him. Whirling around, Loki stared up at Thor. The blue eyes were more intense and focused with dedication than they used to be, less carefree, more depth.

“Why are you angry, Loki?” Thor asked again, his presence too large to be dismissed as mere annoyance.

Thor was too close. He was too large, too near, too warm, too much. Loki snapped, “Because you are the last person I want to be bound to!”

And suddenly Thor's eyes grew wide with horror. Loki felt it and tried to scream, to tear at his mouth, but threads from nowhere pierced his lower and upper lips, sewing his mouth together, and there was no time to react.

“By the realms... Loki, look at me, are you – are you in pain? Do you hurt?” Thor peered wildly around. “A knife, I need a knife... blasted strings!”

Loki was bleeding at the mouth; he could taste the iron-copper stench inside, see it drip onto his immaculate floor. The pain had been so sudden and so unlooked-for, and Loki swiped impatiently at his tears. He would not appear weak again. Never again.

His fingers dug into his tunic as he tried to get past the intense sensation, and closing his eyes helped. However, when Thor appeared with a small dagger, Loki backed away and sank to the floor. Shaking his head, Loki tried to signal to Thor that the threads that sealed his mouth were of magical construct, and steel would not cut them. Somehow he was understood by the larger male, and when Thor crouched down and touched Loki's face there was a gentleness that hurt almost as much as the sewing of the lips did.

“Brother, oh Loki...” Thor murmured, and pulled Loki into an embrace, allowing the younger male to burrow against the crook of Thor's shoulder and neck. There was nothing else Thor said, and Loki thought Thor said it very well indeed.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

He was thirsty, for he had not drunk for the past two hours other than his blood; he was hungry, for he had not broken fast in the morning before Thor brought him to Odin, and his last meal had been before the battle in Midgard.

But Thor was at least as hungry and thirsty as he. The blond Asgardian had refused food and drink, and though he did not say why, Loki knew Thor was trying to prove a point.

He deliberately refused to think what that point might be.

All day long, Thor had stayed with him. After Loki had recovered from the shock and pain of the punishment, he had returned to his bed and curled up on it with another book, this time one on the lore of Yggdrasil. Thor had sat beside him, ignoring the irritated glares sent his way from emerald eyes, and read together with Loki.

In silence they spent the day, and Loki was oddly comforted by how Thor could be quiet when he should be. Loki's hands tightened on his book, and his fingertips turned blue suddenly. Was he becoming softhearted? Was he starting to forgive Thor?

No. Never.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

When he heard the snores Loki woke up with a start. Thor was still beside him, his snores loud and rumbling. Loki gently eased himself from his brother and replaced the book, before noticing the tray of food on the low trestle by the door.

Someone had come in without his knowledge. Someone had seen Thor and Loki in repose, side by side, at ease, in peace.

That chilled Loki to his marrow, for reasons he could not quite name.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

The water in the baths was usually too hot for Loki, but tonight it seemed to be as ice. Scrubbing at the scabbed scars littering the planes of his body, Loki turned his thoughts over and over, trying to seek out the elusive fear that he had just experienced. What was he afraid of, here in Asgard?

“Loki?” Thor suddenly called out.

Instinctively Loki tried to respond, but all that he could utter was a choked mutter. The threads were still present. In futile anger Loki slapped the flat of his hand against the water, thinking up curses in his head and swearing with all the names of the creatures and gods that he could recall.

Just as he was cursing the head off the squirrel Ratatosk which chattered nonstop, Thor skidded into the bath. He was wild of hair and eyes. “I thought... I thought...” Thor rubbed at his mouth, before he leaned against the wall. “I'm sorry, I forgot you couldn't...”

Loki smirked ironically and traced the threads that bound his lips together. His thin fingers trailed over each strand, feeling the magic resonating and countering his own, and found rage bubbling over again. _Damned Odin!_ Loki thought, almost weak with hunger and frustration, and pushed himself up from the bath, and then his knees wobbled. Before he could collapse, however, Thor had ran over and scooped up Loki from the tub and pulled him out. 

Loki suddenly realized he should have waited until after he had eaten before he bathed. The heat of the water was gone because he was feverish with thirst and hunger, and his thoughts were running together because he couldn't string a simple sentence together.

He could not even protest as Thor carried him to the bed and then dried him off with thick towels, from his wet hair down his torso, past his hips and to his toes. Loki did allow himself a blush when Thor dried his groin and then turned him over to rub down his back.

“You lied,” whispered Thor as he had Loki in a sitting position to better dry the raven-black hair.

Loki glared up; he could do nothing else in his defense.

“You said I was the last person you wanted to be bound to. I’m not, am I?” Thor's voice was so quiet that it made Loki's nerves stir with unease. The drying cloth was tossed aside to the floor, where Loki had discarded his clothes earlier. Thor now tilted Loki's face so that he had to look into Thor's piercing blue gaze. There was again the strange look in Thor's eyes that Loki wished desperately to ignore, but Thor gave him no opportunity to do so.

“Mother came in earlier, after you had fallen asleep,” Thor murmured. “She brought food. When she saw... when she saw you, she was upset, and she blamed me for not dissuading Father.”

Loki's brows furrowed. Why would Frigga blame Thor for Odin's decision? Nothing swayed the All-Father, especially since Loki himself had not begged for clemency. Loki would never have begged for clemency, not from Odin.

At least one riddle was solved. Loki did not need to fear Frigga, and Thor had been awake then, which was why he himself did not wake.

Again he deliberately ignored the deeper meanings of the actions.

“To be honest I did not think Father would have gone through with it,” Thor continued. “And I was trying to keep myself from showing you how much I had missed you. Loki... when you fell, when you fell from the Bifrost Bridge, I should have followed.” Thor's hands now cupped Loki's face and he touched his brow with Loki's.

“I was so happy when I heard you were in Midgard, because that meant you were safe, that you were sound, that you were whole, brother. I could not have borne otherwise. And then I heard that you had allied yourself with the Chitauri... that you planned to enslave a planet...” Thor's voice became broken and soft, almost like the time Thor had first lost a fight and came to Loki for support and encouragement. “I did not know what to think. And then everything happened... and you are here now, with me, and I can't even begin to describe how I feel. I have never been good with words,brother, but now you have taken all my words from me.”

That was the most eloquent speech Loki had ever heard from Thor, and he was still mulling over the nuances when Thor pressed his lips over Loki's sealed mouth.

Loki's mind blanked.

Thor's hands slipped from Loki's face to his shoulders, and then he gathered the younger man to himself. His words were right beside Loki's ear, and the hot breath was real, as well as the muffled groan when Thor buried his face in damp black tresses.

“I did not go to Midgard to protect them, Loki. I went for you. I went so I could bring you home,” he whispered, each word harsh and honest and painful. “I did not even know why we fought. Even now I cannot comprehend... I would give up Mjolnir in a heartbeat, Loki, for you to set foot in Asgard and call it home again.”

Loki shut his eyes. He must speak, he had to speak, he had to dissuade his brother from pouring out his heart, he had to sneer, jeer, mock, tease, jibe at Thor; he had to grab that oaf's heart and squeeze it, crush it, trample it beneath his heel. He had to, because all the sincere and clumsy words were making Loki think and feel things that he had given up the right to think and feel.

“Loki, do you not love us anymore?” begged Thor, face still hidden within Loki's hair. His warm breath, wet and hot and all too _Thor,_ sent shivers down Loki's spine. “Do you truly _hate_ me?”

Loki lost his inner battle. Wordlessly he reached around Thor's broad shoulders and squeezed. Thor felt it, and then tightened his arms in response. Loki could not speak, but the embrace seemed to bridge something that had broken some time ago, and Loki felt his heart go still. They stayed that way for a very long moment

Finally Thor pulled away, his eyes gleaming and there was a smile on the blond Asgardian's face. Tentatively – had Thor ever been this cautious? This gentle? - tentatively Thor touched the threads that sealed Loki's mouth. “These are frightful things,” he remarked, “but if there is anything good about them, they have allowed you to listen.”

Loki's green eyes narrowed and he punched Thor lightly on the shoulder, and the older man laughed with quiet delight at the familiar action. Then he pressed yet another kiss on Loki's bound lips, taking care not to press too hard lest Loki was hurt, and rested his cheek against Loki's face.

“There are still some hours before the spell is lifted, brother,” he said in hushed tones. “Let us rest. I for one do not wish to stay awake and listen to the growling of my belly.”

Loki snorted with amusement and lay back against his pillows. Thor hesitated again, before he situated his bulk next to Loki, his warmth resting against Loki's naturally cool body.

Loki accepted the comfort for what it is, and shut his mind against what else it might mean.

He also resolutely refused to think about the kisses. To go there, Loki feared, would mean madness.


	2. Tisiphone

_Loki dreams._

_He dreams of endless ice and endless summer, of laughter that chills the blood, of tears that heat the soul._

_He dreams of snakes and fangs and poison, of being bound, of being trapped, of an aching, empty darkness stretching above him. He dreams of the wet sting and bite of a serpent's venom; he dreams of losing his sight, losing his heart._

_He dreams of the echoes of screams – his own, he realizes – and the mad laughter that clings to him._

_He dreams of sunlight and blood and warhorses snorting and thundering down the fields, of bright burnished armor, of glittering swords and war-cries echoing amongst the shrieks of the fallen._

_He dreams of spells that are spun and woven like clothes, of curses that strike like a serpent's tooth, of vows that bind together the mind, words and actions of a man._

_He dreams of searing heat in the desert, of biting cold in abyssal depths, of the gaping nothingness of deep space._

_And he dreams of flying, raven's cloak about his shoulders, hiding him from prying eyes; in his dreams, Loki is riding the storm._

_He dreams that he is dreaming about a dream, and searching ever deeper in the dream of a dream of a dream he finds a golden chest, and yet search though he may he cannot find its key._

_And in this dream of dreams of dreams, Loki cries, each tear a crystal of frost, glittering, glittering, making no sound as the tears smash like glass on the floor, and each fragment becomes a star._

_Loki looks up and he sees the Other, the one who courts Death, and again Loki screams._

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

“Loki!”

The dark-haired god jerked awake, mouth open and dry, throat hoarse. The threads that bound his lips shut had disappeared sometime in the night and now all that was left of them was an ache, and a phantom sensation of the strings pierced through his lips.

Thor, who had shaken Loki awake, was staring at the Jotunn, as if he had never seen Loki before. Loki caught himself panting and gulped, for that moment unable to form coherent thoughts. The light streaming in from the window indicated that it was morning, and fresh food was laid out again on the low trestle table.

“Loki, what troubled you so?” asked Thor. His honest face was full of concern, and his brow was furrowed.

In the daytime Loki found it harder to look at Thor; the golden son once again burnished with glory and strength, while he himself sought the shadows. Despite the worry he saw etching his brother's – former brother's – features, Loki looked away and forced himself to get out of bed. Then he realized with a start that he was still nude; he had never got around to dressing after his bath the previous night, and he had listened to Thor, and his heart had felt so full and his mind so empty then that all thoughts of clothes had slipped him.

Thor, already dressed, got to his feet and came over to Loki. “Brother, what made you cry out in such distress?”

“It was a dream, Thor. Whatever it was, it's not here,” said Loki, carefully choosing his words. He could not say that it did not bother him, for it did, and he could not say that he was fine, for he wasn't. Still, he was glad when Thor decided to let the matter drop and allow Loki to dress himself in peace.

Food was very welcome, though Loki made sure he only took bread that Thor had torn from and eaten before he did, and the stew was ladled from the same pot, and when Thor left to retrieve something from his room Loki made sure to switch bowls around.

Thor might believe that all of Asgard loved him and would not risk his life just to kill Loki, but the slender Liesmith knew better than to make assumptions. He had assumed Midgard would be vulnerable and look where it got him.

When the door opened again, it was not Thor who looked in but Frigga.

“Loki, my son, I am so glad to see you again,” she cried softly, and came to embrace him.

Before her arms could clasp him Loki stepped back, out of her reach, and said, “I am not your son, Queen Frigga, and though you might wish to hear me address you as mother, I do not want my lips sewn again.”

Frigga looked distressed. “I have pleaded with Odin All-Father...”

“And his verdict, my lady?” asked Loki, though he knew well what Odin would have said.

The elegant woman turned pale with anger and sadness, before she glanced aside. “This is only temporary, Loki, until... until he decides otherwise.”

“Of course. I will wait for his decision.” Loki tried not to sneer, and when Frigga reached for his hand Loki suffered her touch.

Thor came in again, and was surprised when he saw Frigga. “Mother, what did Father say?”

Frigga sighed and Loki, not wishing to hear the details, decided to take that as a cue to exit. When Thor appeared to want to follow, Loki glared at him in full Jotunn skin, and the blond Asgardian stopped in his tracks. Loki faded back into his mask of pale, unmarked complexion, and said, “I will be in the library.”

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

The Other. Loki knew his name, and refused to speak of it, or even think of it. Part of him felt that it was an irrational fear; the other part of him was terrified that just by calling his name, even within his own head, that being would know where he was.

_But it would be quite a showdown, wouldn't it, Odin All-Father and the Other battling, from realm to realm, rending asunder the fabric of creation into madness and chaos? Ragnarok come early..._ Loki sighed and curled up into his favorite window seat.

Though the one-eyed king had not limited Loki to the palace grounds, Loki was not stupid enough to assume that others would not kill him on sight. They might not even know of the heart-link to Thor, and that would be a pity.

_Is it, truly? My death in exchange for Thor's... it is quite the bargain, is it not?_ Loki's lips curled and he forced the thought away. He did not fear death; quite the reverse, really. Death would mean a freedom, an unfettering. To be truly free of his own circuitous thoughts, to be free of the imposition placed on him by the Chitauri and the Other, to be free of his envy and hate and love and admiration and jealousy...

The dark-haired male sighed again and rested his head on the window pane. Outside, Spring had come to Asgard. Early spring, in fact; the air was yet chilled by lingering winds, and not all the buds had burst forth into life.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

When he was much younger, Loki disliked spring. It seemed uncouth to shove aside winter and all its icy glory and elegance callously, to have leaves and flowers and creatures of all kinds tear up and trample slipshod over the earth. The spring festivals, when the young ladies would dress up for the men to gawk and woo, when people danced and drank and cavorted, were the times when Loki would steal away into the corners of the palace to read, to think, to be.

But Thor would always seek him out. Thor, with his unerring sense of direction (at least where Loki was concerned), would be able to find him regardless of the nook or cranny Loki had hidden into. And Thor, with his bright, gleaming hair and loud, cheerful voice, would drag Loki to join in the festivities, make him drink mead, and made Loki dance. Sometimes with a large group, but more often with a pretty girl that had probably been trying to seduce Thor himself.

And Loki put up with years of this, drinking and dancing with the rest of Asgard, with pretty girls who had no eyes for him.

The mead usually tasted bitter to Loki at those times.

And yet, there was one spring feast which took place just as the buds were unfurling, that Loki remembered with stunning clarity. He had just been allowed to join Thor on the hunts, on the chase. Then, Loki was willowy and slender, still growing into his manhood, and there were not a few who marveled at the difference between the brothers. But there was no difference between them, at that time; Loki followed his brother's lead, and Thor included Loki in all his adventures.

The festival itself had been, as others, crowded and noisy and jovial and boisterous, with men calling out stories and beating on drums, while women wove their ways through the tables and crowds delivering platters of food to celebrate the ending of winter.

Loki had drunk five flagons and danced with five pretty girls, and therefore pleaded fatigue. He had just escaped the great hall, leaving its music and lights behind, and found himself in the cool serenity of his room, when Thor strode in.

“Thor, if you pull me back out there again just because you wish to foist off yet another maiden, I will turn you into a large frog,” Loki had threatened wearily, sinking onto his soft bed.

Thor had laughed and sat down with some more force than necessary next to Loki. “I am sorry. I did not wish to disappoint the ladies, and a dance with a prince of Asgard is a dance with a prince of Asgard.”

“You promised them the dance, not I,” retorted Loki with little heat. “And they do look ever so let down when I become their dance partner.”

“I would not have done so had you sought out your own lovely lass, brother,” chuckled Thor. He got up and headed to Loki's cabinets. “And you've barely touched the mead.”

Loki groaned. “I do not enjoy overindulging in mead, brother, lest they impede the clarity of my mind and the accuracy of my spells.”

“How about wine then?” asked Thor, having fished out what he knew was Loki's personal stash from its hiding place. “Come, brother mine. A little indulgence couldn't hurt. I promise not to force mead on you any more at the spring feasts.”

“At the other feasts, brother?”

“You will have to earn the privileges for escaping mead, Loki,” Thor chided teasingly. “Come. And shut the door; drinking weak wine when there is mead would not be appropriate for the noble sons of Odin!”

Loki had shaken his head and laughed, shutting the door before others could see, and shared the wine with Thor.

“And the dance?” Loki had asked after the third goblet. “What must I do to earn the privilege of not having to deal with the maidens you reject ever so subtly?”

Thor had cocked his blond head, mane of hair shining in the lamplight. “If you will dance with me, you may refuse the dances, brother,” Thor joked. “For no one who has danced with me will want to dance with another.”

“Such arrogance,” laughed Loki, “for as clumsy an oaf as you. I should instead believe that you pushed the girls to me because you cannot dance; and that if you should attempt to do so, your great big feet would trample their delicate toes, and quite ruin their fantasies of the handsome and princely Thor Odinson.”

“I am no oaf, and you shall know it,” Thor had protested, and then insisted on pulling Loki to his feet and they had danced, there in Loki's room, to the faint stirrings of music echoing from the great hall. And there in the room their feet had moved in perfect rhythm; russet and deep green, gold and silver, white and black, moving in perfect time from step to step, and the two young gods laughing with too much wine and mead, and a surfeit of happiness and affection.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

The memory was sour in Loki's mouth. He shut the book with perhaps too much force, and coughed at the small cloud of dust that action raised. That attracted the attention – unwanted attention – of a tall warrior-lady; Loki smirked. It was of course Sif, Sif who hid from everyone the truth of her heart, the one who was as much a liar as Loki was, only her deceit was turned against herself.

“Loki? Why are you here? Guards! Guards!” Sif did not allow Loki to answer the question and instead backed away slightly. Loki had just slipped off the window seat when Sif drew a blade and angled it at him. She snarled, “If you move I will cut your throat. Magician and sorcerer you might be, but I’m still the faster warrior.”

Loki raised both hands in surrender, leaving the book on his seat. “I suppose I should wait to be arrested.”

“How have you come into the palace?” Sif snapped. “There are guards all around, and you certainly did not arrive by the Bifrost's power!”

“No, I did not. I was led into the palace, and Odin himself let me roam free,” said Loki, allowing a smile to sit on his face. It was not a kind smile; he had never fancied Sif and she definitely did not like him at all, thinking Loki to be another thorn in Thor's side.

“You lie.” Sif was implacable and glared at him sternly. “Odin would not suffer that; you are the snake in the grass, the dagger in the shadows. It would be folly to leave you be.”

Armed guards jogged up. She barked instructions to them to bind Loki, her eyes and her sword never shifting from Loki, and when Loki allowed the guards to tie him up he wondered what Thor ever saw in her.

The brunette warrior followed behind Loki and the guards, no doubt with her sword pointing at his head all the way. As they walked (Loki strolled in as nonchalant a manner as he could), Loki could hear amazed murmurs and shocked whispers at his reappearance in Asgard. Apparently the reason for his disappearance was not unknown, and Loki wondered exactly how many knew of his disgraced fall from the Bifrost. If not, they would have reason to gossip now. And there was nothing quite like a pantheon of bored gods to spread rumors and half-truths.

Sif was told that Odin was in conversation with Thor in the king's room. However, as the guards marched Loki into Odin's room, Loki was gratified to see the look of utter fury on Thor's face. Odin, as expected, was impassive; he had probably expected such an occurrence. Would the old king even pretend grief should Loki be killed?

“Sif, what are you doing?” Thor exclaimed. “Unhand him at once!”

Sif was aghast. “Thor are you mad? This is Loki! The one who got you exiled, and almost had you killed!”

“I am as sane as any other person in this room, my lady, and you will put that blade away before Mjolnir tests its strength.” Thor watched sternly as the bindings fell away. “Brother, were you harmed?”

“I am not harmed, Thor,” said Loki lightly. He glanced around the room. “I suppose I should return to my own quarters, so that such misunderstandings do not occur again.” He smirked at Sif and Odin, pointedly ignoring Thor. “My lady, you have changed little from our last meeting. Odin, All-Father, may I take my leave?”

“My lord Odin, why is this... criminal, this murderer walking free in your halls?” asked Sif indignantly. “He should be in chains, locked in the deepest dungeons of Asgard! He deserves no better!”

Loki stilled his temper and made himself smile. “If that is what you think, my lady. I am inclined to agree, although it would certainly be an unpleasant experience should I be locked in the deepest dungeons and chained as you suggest.”

Thor gripped the slender male's shoulder and tugged him slightly backwards; Loki knew it was Thor's instinct to protect his little brother again. The dark-haired god shrugged off Thor's hand.

“I do think I need your protection less than I used to,” said Loki, selecting each word with utmost care. “After all, I survived a fall through the realms, rose again from the dust, and devastated a city with my... _antics_ , did I not?”

Odin stood. “Be silent.”

Loki flashed a defiant glare at Odin, but restrained his tongue from a remark out of place. Thor's hand returned to his shoulder and this time Loki allowed it to stay. Odin took a deep breath and exhaled. “Thor, take Loki back to his room. I will converse with Lady Sif alone.”

“My lord Odin-” Sif began again.

“Be silent,” Odin warned again, and this time Loki did smile coldly at the woman. He did not protest being led from the room – the poisonous stare from Sif was not comfortable at all – but the sting of Odin's injunction was also as painful.

_Be silent._ Like he was a witless drudge without mind or independent thought.

Somehow his thoughts must have reflected on his face. Thor murmured, “Loki, please.”

Along the hall Thor stayed close to Loki, as if afraid that the younger male would disappear, but Loki was feeling wrath build up inside him with every step. It was rage undirected; the indignity of being shackled, the complete shock and disdain in Sif's eyes, the manner in which Odin had addressed him, Thor with his uncharacteristic silence... It rankled and gnawed at Loki.

Back at the room Loki pulled away from Thor. “Get out. Leave me.”

“Loki, please don't-”

“Leave! Am I not to be accorded even a moment to myself, to be watched like a child? Why not give me a guard? Why you, Thor? You, the heir to Asgard, Odin's son! Why are you _here,_ nipping at my heels, staying my anger, offering me comfort?” Loki turned on his heel and swept the parchments off his table, needing to vent, to rage, to destroy something. “Why wasn't I locked up? Thrown into the deepest of dungeons? Why not with serpents and dragons watching me? Why am I here in comfort, in my old room, with the man who persistently, stubbornly, _stupidly_ insists that he is my brother?”

“Loki, Father has not given me his reasons, but I am certain he feels responsible for what has happened before as well, and he is trying his best to make it up to you,” Thor tried, his hands held palm up, his posture unguarded and vulnerable.

Loki's upper lip curled. “To make me grateful? To beguile me into repentance? That I should grovel for forgiveness, that I should proclaim my allegiance to the person who stole me from my home? That I should thank him for lying to me for most of my life?” With some effort Loki overturned his table, the lamps crashing.

The noise appeared to have startled even Thor, battle-hardened though he was. The blond stepped forward and Loki held out a hand in warning. “No, no Thor. I have not finished.”

“Loki, please. Speak no more. I wish you no harm, but if you speak in wrath you might have to face the consequences again.” Thor gulped, trying to remind Loki of the agony of the day before.

Loki's breathing slowed and his rage turned to ice. “Odin did not lock me away so that I cannot dwell on my misfortune. He thinks that if I am free to roam here, I can remember what it felt like to be a prince of Asgard.” The dark-haired god licked his lips; he remembered the pain, but he would take it if need be, and all he had to say now came from his heart. “I do remember, Thor. I remember every single instant, and I remember how good it felt to be called your brother, how much I admired you, loved you, respected you even though you had the hide of an ox and the brains of the same. I remember, and I also remember that it was he – and you – who took that from me!”

“Loki, no one wanted to take that from you!” shouted Thor, striding forward again, kicking the overturned table to the side where it splintered again. “All I wanted was to save you!”

“From whom, Thor? Who was I in danger of?” raged Loki, green fire boiling off from his hands.

Thor bared his teeth, sensing the battle-threat, and his hands closed into meaty fists. “Loki, when I look back, I realized that I may have been an ignorant and arrogant prince, but I have only ever wanted to protect those I loved.”

“Do not say you loved me,” warned the Liesmith. “Do not. I cannot – I can _not_ bear it, not today.”

“Who was I trying to save you from, Loki?” demanded Thor. Outside, the wind was rising. The curtains flapped wildly and the two gods could feel the buildup of their powers crackling between them. Thor stepped forward again, less than two paces from Loki. “I was trying to save you from yourself, Loki.”

Loki stared at Thor, and then he began to laugh, a mirthless chuckle that grew into wild hysterical cackling. “Save – save me – from me?! Save me – from myself!” The laughter consumed Loki, and the raven-haired god clutched his abused abdomen and laughed until tears came running down his cheeks. “Save me, save me – from myself! What is this, a song you heard on Midgard? A trinket of sentimental nonsense you read in a card?” Loki sank to the floor, still laughing, before the laughter died away.

Thor leaned forward, a little worried, and reached out for Loki. “Brother?”

“I,” said Loki quietly, “am not your brother.”

A burst of green flame caught Thor right in the chest and sent him flying backwards into the wall. A sizable crack appeared in it, and Thor slid down to the floor with a groan. Loki was peering up, eyes bestial and depraved.

“I am Loki,” said the Liesmith, slowly standing up. “I am the God of Fire and Ice, of Lies and Discord. I am Loki. I thrive on chaos. I prosper in madness. I am Loki.”

Thor struggled to his feet and panted heavily; his breath had been knocked out of him by that ambush. “Loki, stop.”

“I will not stop,” said Loki. His breathing was similarly labored and he had green fire clinging to his hands again. “I cannot stop.”

“Why can't you stop?” asked Thor, his frown indicating something he had noticed. Loki could still read Thor's responses like a book; the big oaf was too transparent for his own good. But then, Thor had never needed to hide, had he?

With another shout Loki released the fireballs from his hands, but in his hesitation Thor had summoned Mjolnir to him already and he smashed aside the two magical assaults. He rushed forward and crashed into Loki, sending him back and down, and before Loki could try to summon more magic Thor had bound Loki's hands with the hammer's leather strap.

“Talk to me,” Thor shouted. “Why do you refuse to stop? What is keeping you from stopping, brother?”

“Stop calling me brother!” screamed Loki. His legs thrashed, trying to kick Thor off him, and he tugged uselessly at his wrists. A large hand gripped both and kept Loki's arms pinned, however, and bright blue eyes locked onto Loki's green ones.

Thor was heavy, Loki thought, rather disjointedly, and his struggling abruptly ceased.

Having been the recent recipient of a surprise attack, Thor did not release Loki though. He waited until Loki was marginally calmer before he asked again, “What is the reason that you cannot stop? Why do you keep trying to hurt us, hurt yourself?”

Loki kept his mouth shut.

“Loki, please. I cannot help you unless you tell me.” This was the second time in as many days that Loki was seeing this look on Thor's face, and it still unnerved Loki. Thor's expression was too open, too trusting and too vulnerable; this was not an expression for a warrior-king of Asgard.

But Thor had it nonetheless.

Loki steeled himself for the pain, licking his thin lips. At least he had had sustenance this day. Staring right into Thor's eyes, he let his true self surface, and then hissed, “I do not need your help.”

“Loki, no – why do you do this to yourself?” Thor cried as threads once again magically sealed Loki's mouth shut. “Why do you not open your heart to us? To me?”

Loki shut his red eyes. It was easier to never speak again than to see the pain in Thor's face.

And yet again, Loki refused to think why that was so.


	3. Alecto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to state that I'm borrowing plot ideas from various speculations about Thor 2 / Avengers 2, so if it seems familiar, you might have come across these ideas yourself.

Loki wished he had dreamed again. However, when has the universe ever given him what he desired?

_I was beginning to think that you do not wish to speak with me._

Loki narrowed his eyes. "I have no intention of denying our bargain."

_Of course. But events have proceeded as we have planned, have they not? And you have been sentenced rather mildly, little God, despite the deaths you have caused and the ravages you have inflicted on Midgard._

"Would you like to taste the cup I have instead?" Loki retorted, and he then smirked. "But then, you do not exactly have lips, do you?"

_Are you mocking me, Loki? If I had the happy power to punish you for the loss of my ship and my soldiers, I would have done much worse than the Gallows-God, Odin._

"Oh, no, of course not. I would not dare," said Loki Liesmith, his green eyes sparking red with dark amusement. "But what is this meeting for? After all, you informed me that we need not contact each other until I have the item in my grasp."

_My master requests that you hasten in your attempt. He hungers, and he longs for Death._

Loki stifled the sudden burst of terror and made himself bow. "I shall oblige, but Thor is keeping too close a watch on me, and Odin has placed magic on me. It would be near impossible to enter the vault without arousing suspicion or attention."

_It did not sound impossible when we first plotted. You will have to surmount the challenges then, Loki._

"I did not think that Odin would leave me roaming around the palace. The original idea was for him to lock me under the palace, and there I would venture forth to do my mischief. Instead he has me in the light and in Thor's sights. Give me time."

_Time has never been on your side, Loki. Nothing is on your side, and I would advise you to remember that. The next time we meet, you should report some progress, or I will lead you to my master._

Now Loki felt the fear surge again and ruthlessly clamped down his reactions. One benefit of being a shapeshifter was the complete mastery of body language; the Other would not be able to detect the fluctuations in his emotions in any manner.

The Other leaned in and hissed, his foul breath washing over Loki's face, _Do not let my master down, little God. I do not think you wish to face his wrath... seeing that you barely survived his curiosity the last time you met._

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Loki opened his eyes, his entire being drenched in cold sweat. There was a cold breeze coming in through his window, carrying with it familiar scents of ice and the green of new Spring. It did little to calm Loki down. The threads sealing his lips were still there; a brief calculation told loki he still had eight hours before the spell released him.

The dark-haired God of Mischief was not a coward. He could not have been, for he fought right beside Thor, more often than not holding his own in the battles against ogres and trolls and dragon-kind. He had faced his fair share of monsters. 

But he had never before met a being such as the master of the... Other. there, he had thought it, and he now saw it was meaningless to not utter his name. The Chitauri leader's link to his mind was still present. Loki could not escape him, nor could he flee the master.

_Thanos._

The name of the titan reminded Loki of unpleasant times. When he had fallen from the Bifrost, Loki thought he would be lost forever, and a small measure of him was glad. But he had been wrenched out of the flux of unformed space-time and into the realm of the Chitauri, the jealous and petty beings who yearned for the richness of life in other realms. And there had been Thanos, who for some reason did not kill Loki.

There were times in their first meeting that Loki wished he had.

Shaking the sleep and the fear away from his mind, Loki climbed out of the furs and selected another of his favorite tunics. It was, in a way, his method of coping with all the changes. That his clothes and books still stayed untouched, that he had his room within the palace... Loki allowed himself a tiny glimmer of sentiment.

Today he chose a deep blue tunic, and its matching silver-gold belt. This outfit was a present as well - Loki exhaled heavily. It would be more prudent to choose another, perhaps, but Loki had always been aware of his appearance, and he felt like wearing blue today. The self-consciousness of his youth had never left Loki completely, given how he was unalike to the rest of the Asgardian young men, and always Loki felt as if there was someone scrutinizing his attire for some flaw or lack.

"Good morning. I'm going to leave your food here." Thor was already back; he must have been waiting to come in. Loki wanted to tell him off for barging in, but realized it would have been futile anyway. Thor seldom remembered to knock. "You always look good in blue."

Loki did not bother to turn around. He had half a mind to stuff the tunic back in his closet, but he did not want Thor to start blustering. Resolutely, Loki pulled the outfit and strode towards the baths, never once meeting Thor's eyes.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Fandral was as direct as ever when he caught up with Thor in the training grounds. "I heard from Sif that Loki is back. Is that true, Thor?"

"Yes it is." Thor swung Mjolnir and launched another bolt into the target, which shattered very satisfactorily. Thor exhaled and started swinging the hammer again. "He is back, and he isn't."

"I do not understand."

"Though he is back here on Asgard physically," said Thor, unleashing another bolt of lightning, "his heart and mind are elsewhere, and I do not know how to bring it back."

Fandral frowned. "Why would you want that? Loki is dangerous. He should be locked up and guarded day and night. What is this thought of getting his heart and mind back?"

After a slight pause, Thor set down his weapon and stared at Fandral angrily. "Is that your opinion or Sif's? How can you say that of a man you've fought beside before? Is any of us less dangerous than Loki? Less deadly? Less wrathful? If one of us is dangerous then all of us are dangerous. Are you proposing to lock us all in dungeons and chains?" The God of Thunder was shouting now, his voice ringing around the training grounds.

Fandral stepped back, hands raised in appeasement. "I meant no offense, Thor."

"I know," Thor said, a little calmer, "but it rankles me to know that my comrades think so little of my brother. I fear to think what they might say if the situation was reversed."

"Thor, that is not fair," protested Fandral. "We fought for you, we believed in you. Odin himself can attest to that."

"Then why can you not fight for Loki, believe in Loki?" Thor retorted. "Why do you try to set me against him? 'He deserves to be locked up, he deserves to be punished, he deserves to be chained like a beast.' Such words from those who claimed him as battle-ally and friend!" Thor threw Mjolinir overarm and the hammer crashed through the dummy, the stands, the wall and into the field beyond.

There was a very long moment of silence as Fandral fought for words and Thor for calm. The former finally patted Thor on the shoulder. "Thor, i meant no insult. I am merely concerned for your well-being. Loki is used to tricks and magic, cunning and deceit. You are not, and I do not wish to see your trust betrayed yet again."

"It will not be," said Thor, though he wondered if he was stating a matter of fact or of faith.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Now that the seal was gone, Loki could finally sit down to a meal. Loki was hungry and thirsty, but he dared not eat nor drink. No food had yet touched his lips, nor water, and he was waiting. When the heavy footsteps came down the corridor he glanced up and made a decision.

He flung open the doors to his room and called out, "Thor."

The older male stopped. He was grimy with sweat and caked with dust; Loki knew from sight that Thor had been out in the training grounds. Thor's blue eyes glimmered. "Did you want me, Loki?"

"Yes. Come dine with me." Loki gestured to the table set within, the invitation clear.

Those blue eyes brightened and Thor smiled. "But I am dirty, Loki, and I do not wish to soil your quarters."

"You can clean up in my baths, br- Thor, and I will not begrudge you the use of my mirrors or towels," said Loki quietly.

Thor hesitated, and then grinned. "Thank you, Loki." 

"You are welcome," said the slender male, though he wondered at the depth of emotion Thor put into his words. It was only a meal, and Loki just wanted to be sure.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Loki had not changed the manner in which he ate, Thor thought privately as he observed how Loki tore off bread with nimble fingers and plucked off grapes, peeling off the skin. It was dainty, almost, if Loki was a woman, but when Thor studied Loki the younger male was just harshly, defiantly graceful. It was an anomaly for men to have such elegance of movement here in Asgard, and even the women could not compare with Loki's grace.

Thor drank his wine with no complaint. He did not like wine, but Loki did, and so Thor obliged him. The lips were still pink from the pressure of the spell, and stained with the red of the wine, and Thor suddenly wanted to touch Loki's mouth and taste the wine and grapes from Loki's tongue. A hot flush of emotion raced through Thor's veins and he looked away, back at the meat on his plate, but his sudden agitation was not missed by quick green eyes.

"What is the matter with you?" asked Loki quietly. "You sit as though the bench is hot iron."

"I have... I had words with Fandral today. About you." Thor seized on the confrontation in the training grounds as an excuse.

"I shall suppose that he shares the same sentiments as dear Sif," Loki remarked, a caustic bite to his tone. "Well, he is entitled to his opinions."

Somehow the nonchalance did not sit well with Thor. "Does it not bother you that your friends think so little of your loyalty and good? They fought by your side, and yet they say such things about you!" Thor thumped the table heavily, making the dishes jump. "When I think about it, my blood boils. It is also betrayal, the way they turned on you."

"Thor," said Loki, shifting so that he faced the God of Thunder, "they did not fight by my side. They fought by yours."

"It is the same!"

"It is _not_  the same at all. The Warriors Three and Sif would do anything for you, and they have. They stood by you when all Asgard denounced you because they love you." Loki's smile was quite bitter. "They do not love me. They fought by your side, and I happened to be there too. It is not betrayal, because their loyalty was not to me."

Suddenly his thin white hand was caught by Thor's large one. Loki abruptly realized what he had said and tried to pull away, wishing he had not assured Thor as he so often did back in the past.

Thor was gazing at Loki intently. "You fought by my side, Loki. You have done a lot for me, and you risked your life so often when we go out on the hunt together. What should I make of that then?"

"Make of it what you will," snapped Loki, finally managing to slip his hand out from Thor's grasp. "I did what I wanted to do then, and my loyalty goes where I will. Do not assume that I feel the same as I used to, when I was ignorant about my true heritage."

"Your heritage is as my brother, as my ally, and as my friend," argued Thor. "Your blood may be of the Frost Giants' lineage, but all you have learned and seen came from here. I watched you grow up and I saw how you mastered spell after spell, I remember how you helped us attain our greatest victories - don't speak, Loki, I beg you. Do not speak. Do not speak again, not tonight, and not unless it is truth."

Loki had almost snarled a rebuttal, his usual biting wit already straining to jeer, but the older male was too sincere and cut off Loki's words. Thor, sensing that Loki was at a loss, said, "I do not have the gift of words, Loki, as you do; I can only s0eak what I know and understand. And I know that I still trust you, and I am beginning to understand that we cannot go back to what we were before, because we are not what we used to be."

"No, we are not," agreed Loki. He had to be less emotional; he had to manage his heart better.kOdin had devised the perfect punishment for him, Loki mused with grudging respect. There was nothing harder than to restrain his tongue from falsehoods which had been his constant companion, and being here with honest Thor made it triply hard for Loki not to acknowledge the truths within.

The one question was, when did Thor become so eloquent? Or was it because the words were not laced with double meanings or hints or innuendo, that these same words clumsily spoken went straight to the soul?

"Loki," Thor murmured, his voice shaking. "I think... No, I know that I have done wrong by you. And now I fear I have done more wrong."

"...What do you mean?"

"I meant to treat you as my brother, and love you the way I used to." Thor's tone was almost guilty and broken, and his voice thick with some unnamed emotion. "I can no longer do so. I must acknowledge that now."

The chill that swept through Loki was not unexpected, but it still hurt all the same. Finally Thor was on the same page as Loki; they were finally facing each other as enemies. That would make it infinitely easier for Loki to do what he had pledged to do for Thanos, in exchange for something truly precious to Loki.

But sitting here, seeing Thor's face hidden from him, hearing how Thor no longer regarded him as kin... Sitting here at the table in his room, with his favorite food, dressed in a tunic that Thor had personally chosen for him, in his old room... hearing that Thor was no longer able to love him as a brother... 

Loki schooled his expression and said, "I see. Perhaps it is time for me to choose a dungeon cell for myself after all."

"No. You don't understand," Thor said, almost angrily. He glared at Loki, blue eyes blazing. The warm lamplight bathed the Asgardian in bronze and golden hues, but there was no softening of the tense set of Thor's jaw. He swallowed and captured Loki's hands again, his warmth seeping into the cold skin. "Loki. I am stupid with words. But believe me that I..." He inhaled and breathed out slowly again. "Oh, blast it."

Thor leaned forward and slid his hand to where he always placed it: thumb below the ear, fingers on the spine. Loki suddenly felt breathless: what was Thor planning to do? Was he going to hurt him?

"You once told me to give you a kiss," whispered Thor.

"That was a joke," Loki replied, flustered.

Thor smiled very tenderly and shyly. "I shall treat it as a request that I should have met, and will meet now."

He bent his golden head and his lips once again touched Loki's, and this time with no threads to impede his way, Thor coaxed Loki's lips apart and then slipped his tongue into Loki's mouth. His whiskery beard made Loki's skin prickle not unpleasantly, and he had the scent of earth and sun that was made stronger by proximity. Loki's lashes fluttered shut, and his hands reached for Thor's shoulders. 

Thor held Loki firmly at the neck, not allowing him to move, and he was as honest in his desire as he was in his speech: his tongue explored Loki's mouth thoroughly, and his mouth drank in the soft moans that escaped the younger male, and his breathing took in Loki's clean scent as if it were air for a drowning man.

When he finally deigned to release Loki, the God of Mischief looked distinctly disheveled. Green eyes blinked open and Loki stared in confused wonderment at Thor. He licked his reddened lips - and Thor so wanted to kiss them again, redden them further - and asked, "Why?"

"Because I now see what I should have seen the second you and I parted," said Thor.

"And what is that?"

Thor pulled Loki into an embrace, firm but not demanding, and murmured into Loki's ear, "That we should not have parted at all."


	4. Mnemosyne

Loki tried to breathe. It was unexpected, this tender admission from Thor, and Loki had no idea how to deal with it. And it was so very much like his foster sibling: impetuous and sincere confession, without a thought as to how others might see their relationship – was it a relationship? Loki would not know: he had been so immersed in his studies, he had been so unlike the Asgardian ideal of a man, he had been so much of a target of mockery that no one had ever quite managed to get Loki in an intimate situation. As for the maidens that Thor used to foist on Loki, they had merely thanked Loki prettily before returning to pout at the blonde warrior prince.

Whereas Thor seemed quite experienced with such matters, given how he had coaxed a kiss from Loki, and how he had made sure that Loki could not escape, and how he was now pressing his lips against the side of Loki's neck, sending thrilling shivers all down the slender male's body.

“Thor, let go of me,” Loki commanded harshly, and he pushed at the broad shoulders with slightly more panic than he cared to show. “This is... I don't know what to say to this.”

“Say nothing,” said Thor, a small smile gracing firm lips, his eyes sparkling with some inner amusement when he pulled away to regard Loki. “There is nothing you have to say, Loki.”

The younger male struggled and finally managed to get both his arms between him and Thor. He shouldered Thor aside roughly and got to his feet, clambering nearer to the door. His face was flushed, and he had to try to calm his racing pulse. “I don't understand. The last time we met, you and I were fighting, really – really fighting, Thor, not the play-fights we had as children. I drew your blood as you did mine. And now you claim that... that you think we should have stayed together all along?”

“Yes.” Thor stood up also but made no move to approach Loki. Part of the slender Liesmith was glad for it; he had felt trapped by Thor earlier, in that unasked-for kiss; another part of Loki yearned for the steadfast solidity of the Asgardian warrior. “I am not a great thinker, not like you, but my exile on Earth has shown me a great deal. I have reflected, brother, and I think more carefully now.”

“I am not your brother,” murmured Loki, almost as an afterthought. His fists clenched; he wanted to be in his armor, to feel the barrier of metal between himself and Thor. He needed a weapon in his hands. But the staff given him had been obliterated in the clash with the blasted Avengers, and Loki had not had the time nor the privacy to craft a new one. His throwing knives would not dent Thor's thick hide, he decided sardonically, and he narrowed his eyes.

“Loki,” Thor spoke again, this time with more uncertainty in his tone, “I wish nothing from you other than for you to stay here, in Asgard. I wish only to love you.”

“I do not think I have a place left in Asgard any longer, not after what I did to you and to your friends,” Loki answered, choosing his words with extreme caution. “And I do not feel that I belong here. In the past I thought it was I who was wrong, that I was the one who was not trying hard enough to fit into this place. Now that I know I am not of your people, that my lineage is other than yours, I feel less of an Asgard citizen than ever. You cannot ask me for this; you know not what you ask from me when you ask me to stay. And I do not think you know what you mean when you say you love me. I am no maiden for you to love, Thor, and I can never be one.”

“I do not need you to be one,” Thor blurted. He moved forward, halting only when Loki backed away further, as if they were conducting a strange dance. “Loki. I do not ask you to love me the way I love you. I do not know why Father put that spell on you, and why he has given you free range in the palace. I do know that I would rather be able to see you every day, and I do know that I long to see you smile again. The way you used to.”

Loki allowed a smirk and he straightened his shoulders. “I am not who I used to be, and neither are you. Speak no more of such childish nonsense, Thor. I cannot smile like the ignorant idiot that I was, because I have seen and learned far more than I have ever thought I would. And you can keep longing until the day of destruction comes upon us, Thor, and even then things would not change.”

There was a brief shadow of sorrow that brushed over the blonde warrior's face, but he said nothing and left Loki alone to his meal.

Loki never finished it.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Night fell, and no one came again to Loki's chambers. He read a little, and tried to cast a mirage in his room, failing when he realized he did not remember how sunlight rippled on water. He thought of dozens of ways to sneak past the guards to the vault, and discarded all his ideas because his presence in there would alert Odin, and Loki now understood how weak he was against the All-Father's magic.

Loki thought for a long time, and then decided to take the risk. This time Loki deliberately sought out the Chitauri leader.

_I would have thought you frightened to show your face around here, little god._

Loki made himself smile despite the sneering tone the Other took. “I have news.”

_Then share, Loki._

“I want to share them with your master. I will speak to no other, least of all to a lackey.”

_Really? You dare insult me with no weapon in your hand, no trump in your grasp?_

“I do dare, and I have done so.” Loki drew himself to his full height – though he was not as tall as Thor, he was not slight of stature, and he was attired in his full regalia. “I have a weapon in my veins, and I desire to speak with your master. Lead me to him – or should I seek an audience myself?”

_He will flay you alive._

“It should prove amusing to you then, will it not? Lead the way.”

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

The Other's master was Thanos, the titan, and he loomed above Loki with a cruel smile. Thanos tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. Loki made himself breathe. In this particular form, Loki was nearly invulnerable. He did not wish to test the limits though.

“You have retrieved the item promised me,” he remarked, his voice roiling with power and threat.

“Unfortunately I have not,” said Loki. “Circumstances have changed, and I seek your advice, my lord.”

Thanos laughed, and Loki forced himself to stand still. The titan stood up, and Loki fought the urge to kneel. “You seek my advice, godling? What advice can a titan give to a tiny god of mischief?”

“That of love, my lord,” said Loki, keeping his voice steady.

That caught Thanos' attention. He frowned and sat back on his throne, and motioned for Loki to continue.

Loki inhaled deeply. One wrong word... but Loki knew the power of words. He had always known it, and the punishment set by Odin only reaffirmed his belief. “Thor has indicated that he loves me.”

“He thinks of you as a brother; he loves you as one,” said Thanos dismissively.

“He loves me as more than one, I believe,” Loki responded quietly.

“Oh? That is... intriguing.”

Loki made himself look up at the titan. “I do not know how to answer him, my lord, and his constant presence impedes my search. I want to dissuade him of his notions, but I do not know how to. As for the Chitauri, they have no such concepts in their minds and so I turn to you, my lord, in supplication.”

Thanos grinned and that made the fearsome features more terrifying. He leaned forward and beckoned Loki closer, and Loki had to act as if his feet were not telling him to run.

“Unwanted, unwelcome and unloved Jotunn, Loki Laufeyson,” he whispered. “You claim to know much, and I see you have learned much and seen much, but even now you are breathtakingly stupid and blind.”

Loki wanted to retort, but he was now in Thanos' striking range, and whether he was corporeal or no Loki did not want to test Thanos' power.

The titan went on. “You have the power of words and the ability to weave some powerful ones, but you think too much. You are in a position of power right now and you see it as a hindrance. You have the item in your grasp and you scorn the hand that offers it. Blind, stupid and foolish little Loki.”

The insults stung, but Loki kept his peace. Thanos would explain; the titan would more than happily educate Loki on his inadequacies, and if Loki being ignorant satisfied Thanos' urge to teach, it would also postpone his thirst for pain.

“Love is what he claims, and if it is truly love, then you have the upper hand. For love can make anyone do anything,” said Thanos. His mighty fists clenched and opened. “It can make the most potent beings in the universe sacrifice all, just to gain even one boon from their object of affection. It can drive the weakest to become strong, the most clear-minded to insanity, the immortals towards death.”

Thanos sighed and laughed again. “And you think that it is in the mind. Love resides not in the thoughts of a being, Loki Laufeyson. It breathes and breeds in the blood. You are a child, even for your centuries of life, and you are innocent yet. Despite your murders and lies and rampages, you are still nothing but a child. Even the Asgardian who continues to call you brother is more wise than you, Loki. I think... I think I should dissolve our pact. Having such a fool as a collaborator unnerves me.”

“I came to learn, my lord, and now I have,” said Loki, trying to appear calm and unhurried. “I thank you and your perceptive insights; I shall now adapt my plans to include Thor's love for me.”

“It would be easier for me to attack Asgard,” Thanos rumbled, as if giving the idea due consideration.

Loki wet his lips and said, very respectfully, “My lord, though I do not doubt your ability to demolish Asgard, there is no need to reach across space-time just for a mere trinket, not when I can get it for you in far less time and with less sacrifice.”

“What sacrifice need I fear?” asked Thanos. However he was smiling darkly. “I know what you want to achieve, Loki. I have always known, and it is merely a form of entertainment for me to watch how you try to return to the past. Even I cannot control time, and your futile attempts are amusing in your folly.”

“And yet you ask me to steal the item for you?” snapped Loki, feeling burned by the titan's appraisal.

Thanos chuckled. “It is a payment for what you want from me, little god. Should you not honor your end of the bargain, then you will also not receive what I pledged.”

“How do I know that you will give me the truth?” asked Loki defiantly. His legs were not shaking, and his hands were steady, only because Loki was keeping a tight hold on all he was feeling.

“The bitter truth will sour in your mouth, Loki Laufeyson, given how used you are to the honeyed poison of lies.” Thanos shrugged and relaxed against his throne. “I will tell you this much right now: you were an unexpected birth, and unwanted, and certainly unloved, not just by Laufey, but also by your mother. She has no idea that you survived; she will not be pleased to know it. But then, she is pleased by so little in her long, long life.”

Loki abruptly realized that he had stopped breathing when Thanos began talking about his mother. He set his jaw and bowed, sensing Thanos' mocking gaze on him as he left.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Loki opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. Thanos' words were not what he had wanted to hear, even though he had anticipated it. The titan was besotted with another being, a powerful one, that even Thanos could not hope to win.

Not that it stopped the titan for trying; the attack on Midgard was for the Tesseract, which Thanos had hoped to use to gain access to his beloved. Loki also knew that despite his failure on Midgard, Thanos was still pleased by the sheer amount of destruction and death Loki and the Chitauri had left behind.

As he settled in bed, Loki wondered who Thanos loved. If he could find out, maybe Loki could try another bargain.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Back in his room Thor had company for the evening meal, and he had not the heart to tell them he desired privacy and quiet. Was this how Loki had felt all those times in the past, when Thor forcibly dragged his brother to his bawdy feasting?

The Warriors Three had sought him out, knowing that he was back from Midgard. Fandral, evidently still a little surprised by Thor's outburst that day at the training grounds, drank a lot more than he said, while Hogun in his individual manner said little. Volstagg, on the other hand, kept pressing Thor to share about the Midgardian battle.

Thor did elaborate on some of the fights the mortals had, especially the ones with the Hulk, and Volstagg had been fed with tales of huge green rage monsters taking on Chitauri soldiers. But Thor's sullen demeanor did not escape Hogun's attention.

“It is late, my friends,” said Hogun as he stood up. “We should retire. Thor has only just returned and I am certain he needs his rest.”

“Come on, Hogun,” protested Volstagg, waving his flagon. “Thor was just getting to the good part about the man of iron flying into the eye of the storm!”

Fandral patted the large man's shoulder. “And I'm sure he can share with all of us tomorrow, since Sif will be quite put out that she did not get to hear it, and Thor's stories do not get better with repetition.”

“I am not gifted with words, and I have never claimed such a gift, and there is an audience I have with Father in the morning,” said Thor quickly, thanking Hogun and Fandral with a nod for their assistance. “At the feast of the Spring Equinox, I shall share all that I can about the battle, I promise.”

“Spring Equinox is some time away yet!” Volstagg argued, but was dragged out by Fandral.

When they finally managed to maneuver Volstagg off the bench and out into the corridor, Hogun stood back and waited until Thor had drawn level with him.

“I am always ready to listen, my friend,” said Hogun quietly.

Thor smiled tiredly. “I know, my friend, but I am not ready to talk as yet. My heart is too heavy for words.”

“I will lead them on another hunt the day after tomorrow; will you join us?”

“I doubt it. There are... matters... to deal with here, and I do not trust others to do so with the appropriate care.” Thor glanced at the corridor that led to Loki's room. “I know you have heard, Hogun, but keep the news to yourself and do not discuss it even with Fandral or Sif. They do not agree with my choice. And Volstagg is too simple and frank a person to encounter Loki at the moment.”

Hogun smiled slightly. “That would have been my assessment of you too, Thor, before your two sojourns in Midgard.” He nodded. “Rest assured that I will occupy them.”

When his friends had all left, Thor stood at the midpoint between his room and Loki's. He was not sure of his next move, and for the Asgardian prince being apprehensive was an unfamiliar sensation. He fancied he could still taste Loki on his tongue, and feel the silk of Loki's hair sliding against his cheek and his hands. He could also remember the startled astonishment in brilliantly green eyes, and the fear that lurked beneath the gaze. Loki had trembled in his arms when Thor made the admission, and though Thor was not the fastest nor the brightest of thinkers, he knew that he had shaken Loki's perception of their relationship.

It had taken a lot for Thor to admit that he had feelings for Loki. It had stunned Thor when he came to the realization. He thought he loved Jane, but when he was on Earth, even after Loki had been captured, he had felt no urge to see her. He had been satisfied to know that she had found a new direction in life; he needed no more than that. After all, she and he were from different worlds, and she would age and die far too soon.

But Loki, Loki who was not Odin's son, Loki who was from a different world, who let go of the scepter, relinquishing his claim of the throne to Thor, who tried so hard to prove that he was as capable a leader of Asgard as Odin, who wreaked havoc on Earth and yet was unable to kill Thor directly when he had the opportunity... Loki was different.

Thor had lied when he said he did not need Loki to love him. He needed it, like a man needed air, water and food to survive, but he would not force Loki to give Thor his heart.

He could not.

Even if every fiber in his being cried out for Loki to see how much Thor truly valued and treasured him, even if all of the Aesir turned on Thor for loving Loki, the god of thunder would not compel Loki. He would not coerce him.

But how he desired one more kiss, one more touch – Thor was ashamed at his own need and vulnerability for someone he should consider his brother, _had_ considered his brother until the news of Loki on Midgard had come to him. The extent of his relief had shocked Thor, and when he examined his feelings further he began to comprehend, and when he finally saw Loki on that windy hilltop, defiant, angry and so very, beautifully alive, he knew without a doubt.

He loved Loki.

He needed Loki.

He wanted Loki so badly he was ready to rip through the walls just for another kiss from his obviously unskilled and untouched adopted brother.

“By Hvergelmir, what should I do?” Thor squeezed his eyes shut. Then he took a deep breath, and walked down the corridor on the left.


	5. Euterpe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some unintended non-consensual kissing.

Loki had an uninterrupted night's sleep, for which he was immensely grateful. Something about unsettled dreams and threatening conversations with entities in the deep reaches of space tended to make him an irritable, bitter person the next day. Instead, he got up and found himself for the first time since his capture looking forward to the rest of the day.

Or maybe just the morning, he cautioned himself. No sense getting too optimistic, after all.

As he looked out from the window from his room, he could scent the new Spring. The skies were as glorious as they had ever been, the clouds high and the blue expanse fresh and untainted. The people of Asgard were stirring and life was coming back to the golden city. Loki found himself momentarily transfixed by all he could sense outside the walls of the palace; people bustling, busy, brimming with news. Sometimes it enervated him. Today, it brought a tentative smile to thin lips.

_These could have been my subjects. I could have been the one watching over them... keeping them from harm._ Loki's smile turned hard and he gripped the windowsill, his knuckles white with effort. He knew what was likely to happen when he upheld his end of the bargain to Thanos.

Loki warned himself again. He had almost begun to care for these foolish Asgardians.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

When Frigga came to the palace gardens, she was not prepared to see Loki standing there near the large ash tree that stood at the end of the walk. The tree was a reminder to Odin of the sacrifices he had had to make; it was an ordinary tree, long-lived by the reckoning even of the aesir, but young in the reckoning of its own kind.

Loki was staring up at the spreading branches, as if wisdom and secret knowledge were beckoning him from within the crown. Leaves, new, green and young, had burst and spread over the boughs, and the light filtering through them had tinted Loki slightly.

Somehow, in that light, Frigga saw the Loki that Odin had first brought into the golden halls of the palace.

He turned and saw Frigga when she stepped forwards. “Queen Frigga. Good morning.”

“Good morning, Loki,” she replied, having to bite back the words 'my son'; it had hurt the last time he reminded her that he was not her son, and it had again brought back the pain and the sorrow of his disappearance.

“The ash grows well.” He touched the bark tenderly, almost reverently. “I had almost forgotten how beautiful it can look.”

Frigga said nothing, watching the slender young man draw closer to it, running clever, slim fingers over the pale gray bark, with the minute fissures and ridges, as if communicating with the plant through some arcane and ancient speech. It very well could be, Frigga told herself. Loki had explored realms of knowledge that most would find frivolous or difficult, and for many Asgardians, irrelevant.

“I've not seen you here for an age,” remarked Frigga.

Loki lowered his head and there was a hint of a sigh. “I prefer to come alone. It's quieter that way.”

“The iris and alder did well last season.” Frigga was hesitant about moving closer; the woman could see the taut set of Loki's shoulders, and did not want to antagonize her son further.

“That's good to hear.” He breathed in and relaxed slightly. Then he looked at her. “How did you know?”

“That those are your favorites in this garden? They are tended by hands other than my own, and there is no one as gentle as you when you wish to be,” said the queen, a proud smile lighting up her face. “No one else in Asgard has quite the skill and subtlety as you do, my s- Loki.”

The silence that descended between them was cool, almost as if Loki had withdrawn to consider his next move.

“Frigga... may I ask you some questions?” He was very soft and non-aggressive in his tone. “In exchange for honest answers?”

Frigga blinked and smiled at Loki, who now looked at her with faint worry in his clear green eyes. “Of course, my child.”

Loki's cheek twitched but he did not refute the name; he cleared his throat and asked, “When I was brought here, did I have anything with me?”

That brought Frigga sharply against long-buried memories. She thought back to the day when her husband, fresh from war, carrying an infant child, a blue, shrieking baby, and when she reached out to carry him from her battle-weary husband, she was told to be careful of freeze burn. And there had been Thor, little Thor, still barely more than a baby then, waking up in his own cot and wailing in sympathy with the Jotunn infant.

“You were swaddled in Odin's cloak,” she began, her voice wavering. “There was nothing else beyond that.”

“Oh.” Loki's face seemed to fall for a brief moment, before he added, “I suppose they did really want me to die.”

The queen had no response to that. She had been appalled by Odin's recount of how he found little Loki, but Loki as a baby was not easy to love. His red eyes, blue skin, dark hair and freezing touch all reappeared when he was stressed, and a child could be easily stressed. But Loki never returned to Jotunn form when he was playing with Thor, and Thor on his part learned to play gently with a brother that was not as strong as he. When Loki grew older then his native magic asserted itself and kept Loki in his Asgardian appearance.

Loki's sharp gaze found Frigga again when she approached him carefully, unsure of the reception she would get. The slim young man regarded her with wariness – only in his eyes, his body language still relaxed and assured – and questioned once more, “Have you ever really thought of me as your son?”

For a moment Frigga considered lying. It would be easy to tell Loki that she had loved him right from the start; that she regarded him as her second son from the very beginning.

But the look in Loki's emerald eyes stayed all untruths.

“I did, after a year or so,” she replied quietly. When she reached out to brush his cheek he shied away, and her hand hovered awkwardly in the air between them before she withdrew it. “You became very dear to me over time, my Loki, even though you are so very different from all the other children. I will not lie; whenever you were being difficult, I did wonder if it was a lack on our part for not being good enough parents, or if it were due to Jotunn blood being away from Jotunheim.”

“Is that so?” He sounded reflective. Then he strode past Frigga without another word.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Loki wondered what he had been expecting from Frigga. That woman had always deferred to Odin, always thought the world of that liar and bully, and what did Loki expect her to say? His soft-soled shoes thudded angrily; he wished he had thought before he began asking her things.

But being in the garden brought back too many soft memories, of him and Thor playing amongst tall trees and leafy bushes, of rolling about in the grass, wrestling with mock ferocity, of hide-and-seek played with an irate parent or guardian, of brave warrior tales reenacted, of laughter and carefree days. Loki could still recall the times when he skinned his knee falling off that ash tree; he had not broken anything because Thor had caught him then, and when Thor saved him Loki had instantly forgiven his older brother – even now that concept soured in his mind – for daring him to climb the tree in the first place.

Lost in his own recollections, Loki did not notice the woman who was striding towards the living quarters until he nearly collided with her.

“Loki. I see you have your freedom today still,” said Sif by way of greeting.

“Lady Sif,” Loki greeted coolly. “I did not notice your presence. I apologize for the near accident.”

Sif narrowed her eyes. “If your apologies for other matters were made with as much sincerity, I think I see why the king was deceived into allowing your continued independence.”

“I'm sure Odin All-Father knows what he is doing, with or without my words,” said Loki calmly. He smiled as the warrior tensed. “I'm not certain if _you_ do.”

“What I do is none of your concern, Loki Liesmith,” Sif snapped. “And I would rather you don't think about my matters.”

“Of course,” Loki agreed easily. He fell into step beside her as she walked towards Thor's accommodations. “I suppose that, as always, you would prefer Thor's attention than mine.”

Sif stopped in her tracks and Loki took a few more steps ahead before turning to face her. Her dark hair contrasted strongly against her face, which had gone pale with anger and shock.

Loki grinned. “Shall I tell you a tale?” Without waiting for any reply from Sif, Loki went on, “Once upon a time there was a beautiful young girl, who saw a prince. The prince was handsome and strong, and would one day become king of his people. He was not too bright, alas, and was too free with his favors and affection. As they grew up, the young girl became a young lady, and though she was beautiful, so were many other fine lasses, and all vied for the attention of the handsome young prince. And he, on his part, dallied with many but loved none with all his heart; his heart was for the things of battle, of valor, of challenges and war.”

“Stop talking,” Sif warned tightly.

She attempted to move past Loki, but he blocked her with a shoulder and continued silkily, “Therefore this lovely young woman formulated a plan. If the prince cannot love her as a maiden, then he can learn to love her as a warrior. Thus she forsook all maidenly pursuits save one. She turned her smooth, soft hands into callused, tough ones, capable of handling all manner of weapons. She let go of her womanly fear and forced upon herself the mantle of brave foolhardiness. She refused to mingle and chatter with the womanfolk, learning to take pleasure in tales of derring-do and myths of long-ago battles. And because she was so much like a male warrior, she earned both the respect and the friendship of the young prince and his companions. Would you say she's succeeded?”

Sif pushed forward and her shoulders were held by Loki; his grip was much stronger than she remembered. She hissed, “Loki, I swear by all the Valkyries...”

“I think she must have regretted part of her actions, for though the prince counts her as a friend he does not see her as a potential lover or wife; for though she has won renown as a warrior she will forever be outcast from her own kind and also from the men, for she is neither one nor the other; for though she wants so badly to gain the prince's heart, he has already given it to someone other than she, and there is no hope for her to win his love for herself. I think...” Loki's voice dropped to a sibilant whisper, “I think I feel _sad_ for her.”

“Enough!” shouted the woman, shoving at Loki with her full strength, and Loki fell away from her with a small smirk. Sif stalked forwards and her voice was shaking with fury. “You are full of poison. I do not care what Odin has said; you should never be allowed to walk about without chains over your limbs and a gag over your mouth. Every word you say is a lie.”

“You might not have heard, my lady, but if I did say an untruth, my lips will be sewn together,” said Loki with an amiable shrug. “It's a curse which I have experienced lately, and I must say it is rather unpleasant.”

“You lie.” Sif held herself in check, but every motion indicated a burning desire to strike Loki. She circled Loki, as if he was an animal she wanted to spear, and part of Loki knew that was exactly what the warrior was thinking.

Loki kept his movements loose and relaxed. “I have watched you since you joined us. I have seen the way you look at Thor, and the way you loiter around him. Can you honestly tell me that you are not here today to look for him?”

“I am looking for him,” said Sif, “but only to ask if he wishes to join a hunting party tomorrow.”

“Led by you?” Loki asked. He was slowly backing away towards Thor's bedroom door; he could hear some movements inside.

Sif scoffed. “I have no need to tell you anything.”

“I see. But similarly, I am under no obligation to not tell Thor everything.” Loki's smirk grew a hint more malicious. “After all, I am obliged to tell the truth.”

“You-” For the moment speechless, Sif glared at Loki and then she swung her hand back across Loki's cheek. “You are a snake.”

A dark red mark appeared on Loki's pale face and he licked his lower lip with predatory glee. “I have no fangs, my lady, but if you wish I shall show you exactly how snake-like I can become.”

Just as Sif was about to lunge and attack the slender Liesmith, the door opened and Thor emerged, dressed only in his tunic and leather pants, with only his thick boots indicating that he was going to head outdoors. He was surprised, or acted so. His usually bright blue eyes were shadowed and dark when he saw the bruise that had formed on Loki's cheek, though it was already healing, but he did not comment on it. Instead he said, “Sif, Loki. I wasn't expecting either of you.”

Loki made himself smile at Thor, for the moment ignoring the sudden lurch of his heart at seeing the tall Asgard prince. “I met her on my way back to my room. I shall excuse myself now, _prince_.”

The final word drew an angry stare from Sif and a hurt expression from Thor, and somehow Loki could feel both elated and slightly guilty all at the same time.

  
  


XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Sif watched Loki go, a sense of shame and rage itching beneath her skin. She had never really liked Loki, though they had commiserated over being the odd ones out: her a woman and a warrior, he a sorcerer and scholar. But he had always been too knowing, too cutting in his words, and too observant.

“Sif?” Thor had called her twice.

She cleared her throat and smiled at Thor. “Hogun is leading us out on a hunt tomorrow for the great boars over the hill. Would you come with us?”

Thor grinned apologetically and shook his head. “I would love to, my friend, but I have other matters to see to. Much awaits me these few days, and Father does not want me gallivanting when I should be learning statecraft from him.”

“Oh. In that case, I shall leave you to your studies,” said Sif, hiding her disappointment, and when she left she almost wanted to ask about Loki, but stopped herself from speaking again.

However, she swiveled around when Thor called her again. The tall blond strode up to her and bent his head, his face close to hers.

“Sif,” he said gravelly, his tone low and brooking no disagreement, “don't _ever_ hit Loki again when he is unarmed.”

Before she could protest or explain herself, Thor had let go of her and was moving down the corridor to the right – towards Loki's rooms.

Sif found herself shocked and seething with rage at Thor's blatant bias. She stormed out of the palace, wondering what happened on Midgard to have changed Thor this much.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

The knocks almost sounded nervous. “May I come in, Loki?”

Thor. Of course it was Thor. Loki sighed and braced himself for yet another uncomfortable interaction before saying, “If you have to.”

Thor evidently took that as an invitation and entered the room, shutting the door carefully. “Loki, we need to talk.”

“We have done quite a bit of talking over the past few days, have we not?” retorted the younger male. He resumed arranging the books on his shelves, having pulled them out to re-organize them and perhaps find some new ones from the library. He was feeling proud of himself for not retaliating with force when Sif attacked him earlier. Goading her had been fun; he had not indulged in the vicious joy of words for a long time, and the only other person who had engaged his interest slightly in this aspect had been that man of iron... what was his name? Stark. Loki knew he was actively stalling, but he did not want to look at his brother – the man who called himself his brother.

“I've talked a lot, but I do not know whether you have listened.” Thor's rough voice cut into Loki's determinedly meandering thoughts. The slender young male ignored the hidden plea for Loki to acknowledge Thor's actions and words the afternoon before. Thor waited, and then exhaled heavily. He had never been all that patient. “Fine. Let me talk again then.”

“Feel free,” Loki drawled.

“Loki, I know Sif hit you. She doesn't lose her temper that easily – was it something you said?” Thor dove into the situation without further preamble.

Loki grinned and regarded Thor with mild contempt. “I merely conversed with her. Everything that came from me was the truth, as you can well see.”

“Then why did she hit you?”

“I would suppose that she found the truth rather... hard to swallow,” suggested the Liesmith, casually slotting in another title into the bookshelf. “For someone unused to telling the truth, I think I’m doing rather well at it, don't you think?”

“Loki,” Thor said, almost impatiently, “would you please look at me?”

“I'm trying to reorganize my personal library, so forgive me for paying more attention to the order of my books than to you-”

“-look at me, Loki. Look me in the eye and tell me that you aren't affected by what I confessed to you yesterday.” Thor's voice was low, and now held a hint of retrained annoyance that had not been present earlier. “Tell me that you didn't respond to my kiss. Tell me that-”

“What do you want me to tell you?” asked Loki. He jammed the thick volume into the shelf with slightly more force than needed. Taking a deep breath, he swiveled on his heel and glared at Thor. In the bright morning light, even Loki had to admit that Thor looked every inch a king, with his tanned skin, golden hair and regal bearing. Loki wet his lips. He must watch his words. “Yes, I was affected, both by your words and your deeds. It isn't an everyday occurrence that a man calling himself my brother tells me that he loves me, and kisses me as if I were a woman.”

Thor looked startled that Loki actually responded. The God of Thunder walked forward and halted only when he saw the warning glow of magic sparking around Loki's open hands. “Loki...”

“What do you want from me?” Loki demanded, knowing that his voice quaked at the end, and hating himself for it. So much weakness, always so much weakness and vulnerability! No wonder Odin had not continued the lie of having Loki as his secondborn. No wonder Laufey had tried to have him killed.

“I want... I want an answer, Loki.”

“I don't know what kind of answer you are looking for.”

“Loki, do you hate me?”

The God of Mischief and Chaos steeled himself and looked at Thor square in the eyes. “I do not hate you.”

Thor's expression relaxed fractionally. He breathed deeply and closed his eyes, before he asked the next question, “May I love you the way I do?”

“I don't see how I can stop you.” Loki's acerbic response did not stop the relieved smile spreading across Thor's handsome face.

Finally, Thor said, “Is it possible for me to court you?”

“What?” Loki's shock was not feigned. He stared in confusion at Thor. “First of all, I am a man. Secondly, you are going to be king. You need a consort who can bear you heirs, Thor, not me. And furthermore, Odin your father will never agree to it. He would kill us – probably me – if he found out.”

“He won't kill you. We are bonded, and he will not kill either of us, unless he means to kill both of us.” Thor's words sounded reassuring until Loki digested the hidden meaning: Odin would not harm his own blood kin. He could remove the bond easily and then slay Loki. _Stupid, naive Thor._

Thor stepped closer and took Loki's hands, now no longer brimming with the burn of magic. “In Asgard, there are many worthy warriors, and we are a very long-lived people. Odin All-Father has no need of me taking over yet, and I believe there is something called abdication.”

“You're mad,” whispered Loki, eyes round as the impact of Thor's statement sank into him. “You've gone mad, Thor. You cannot abdicate – the people of Asgard love you, and will hunt me down forever. You cannot even consider it.”

“Loki...” Thor's grip on Loki's hands was very firm. “Finally, I know you are a man. I also know I admire and respect your abilities, even if I think your dreams have been poisoned and your ambitions tainted by needless envy and mindless jealousy. I know you are a man, and a man who has proven himself to be my equal in battle and my better in strategy.”

Loki could not find words; his mind kept replaying the fight he had on Midgard with Thor, when his blade sank into Thor's flesh and drew Thor's blood. Had some infection entered him then that Loki was unaware of? Was Thor delirious? Did he suffer a blow to the head in the war that had confused his mind?

Thor was still holding Loki's hands, but he was now nearly chest to chest with Loki, and his warm breath dusted over the fine hairs of Loki's cheeks. The God of Thunder actually lifted Loki's left hand and pressed his lips over the bony knuckles.

“Loki. I loved the brother that you used to be, but even more, I love the man you grew to become. I cannot say that I love you for having wielded so much destruction, but I love you regardless.” Thor's smile was very gentle and he lowered the thin hand, clasping it tightly so the shaking would cease. “I cannot promise you that you will be safe with me, but I can promise you that I will protect you with every sinew of my body and every drop of my blood.”

“You are not Thor,” blurted Loki. “Thor can't speak like that. Thor doesn't speak like that. The Thor I knew is kind and generous and rash and, and clumsy with words. He doesn't know how to say things like that.”

“I can say these things only because I have thought long and hard about them,” Thor argued.

“So you claim,” began Loki, and then he licked his lips, not noticing how Thor's gaze suddenly focused on that slight action. “But I... I don't know how I feel about this. I don't. You cannot throw this large a revelation at me and demand an answer the next day.”

“You have already given an answer, Loki. All the arguments you made earlier have made it clear: you don't hate me, and you are willing to develop this if we keep it secret from others. I will try to hide it until we find a way around the obstacles, but Loki, do not deny yourself my heart any more.”

“I don't want your heart, you big oaf, get away from-”

The slender male tried to pull away, but with fascinated terror he realized Thor was far too strong. In blind panic he called on his reserves of magic, but before he could utter the summoning words Thor pushed Loki against the wall and kissed him again, violently and harshly, his experienced tongue sliding into the younger male's mouth, silencing all sounds beyond a whimper.

Loki scrabbled at Thor's shoulders and instead of taking it as an objection, Thor pinned the brunet more firmly, before pulling Loki by the waist close to himself. Loki grunted in protest, but the grunt turned into a gasp when he felt Thor's erect manhood pressing into his hip.

“By the Tree, Loki, you have no idea what you do to me,” Thor groaned, finally deigning to release Loki's lips by sliding his mouth down the perfect white column of Loki's neck, his beard scraping tenderly along sensitive skin.

Overwhelmed by sensation, Loki shivered and whimpered again, and something akin to a pleading sob escaped his mouth when Thor nibbled and sucked at a patch of skin just above Loki's collarbone.

“Thor, please,” murmured Loki weakly.

As if that was a thunderclap, Thor abruptly released Loki and staggered backwards. His blue gaze swept over Loki: disheveled, his tunic rumpled, and large green eyes wide with fear and bewilderment. “Oh Loki, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I lost control – By the realms, I never meant to attack you like this-”

Loki gathered what was left of his dignity and wits. He smoothed back his hair and stared at the blond. He drew himself to his full height, though his knees felt like buckling, and snapped, “You may not have meant to, but you did. Get out.”

“I'm so sorry-”

“Get out. Get out!” Green flames erupted over Loki's hands and he let his full Jotunn heritage emerge, his red eyes glaring balefully at the God of Thunder until he stepped out the room and shut the door. When he was certain Thor was gone, Loki sank to the floor and shuddered, clutching himself around his abdomen as if he had been poisoned, and trying desperately not to think.


	6. Melpomene

Though it would shame him to admit it, Thor knew he had fled Loki's room with no courage left in his heart. What had he done? How could he have assaulted Loki that way, when Thor promised himself earlier that he would not coerce Loki? Feeling hot and sick with guilt, Thor returned to his room and slammed the door shut, his heart pounding as if a storm raced through his veins.

He had given in to base desires at the sight of Loki's tongue flicking over his lips. Burying his face in his hands, Thor could still feel the shameful heat that pooled low in his gut, and he breathed brokenly as he tried to settle for either arousal at Loki's response or disgust at his own actions. The memory of Loki's soft, panicked plea pushed Thor towards guilt and self-remonstrance and he bunched his fists. He had not meant to do that, he truly hadn't; he had wanted to ask Loki to walk with him around the kingdom, to have Loki remember more of the good times, but now he would be surprised if Loki ever spoke to him again or allowed Thor three feet near him.

It had been so sudden, the desire, and Thor once again had to quell his lust as the image of Loki's coy sidelong glance; the un-self-conscious and incredibly seductive licking of thin lips; the slender arms stretching to place heavy tomes; the slight tension of thin fabric over lithe legs; the faint color in Loki's cheeks when Thor insisted on bringing up yesterday's conversation. The God of Thunder gripped his forearm fiercely to distract himself from lingering too long on the recollection.

If anyone else had seen that...

Thor tensed.

Heimdall. Heimdall might have seen; though the guardian usually accorded the royal family their privacy, it did not change the fact that Loki was essentially a prisoner. Odin might have tasked Heimdall to watch Loki, and if Heimdall was observing, then what Thor had done to Loki would be known to Odin. And Odin would... Odin would act on the information.

"What have I done? What do I have to do to make things right?" Thor whispered to himself. There was no one who could answer, and the prince wondered if there was someone alive who could advise him. For Thor was out of ideas, and the thought of Loki exiled again or worse ripped at Thor's heart, as if he had a beast clawing him apart from the inside.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

If Odin knew anything, he made no comment. Thor sat through his father's instruction, the king going over in some detail the last communique with the Norns, and why there were no soothsayers in Asgard except for Frigga, and the conditions in which a king had to face before consulting any of them.

“For to seek the advice of the fates is to draw their attention, and it is never good to have the attention of the fates on you,” Odin remarked, and then he glanced out the window.

Thor waited, heart hammering, until Odin spoke again.

“You have been spending time with Loki.”

The sentence was not unexpected and Thor did not startle. He said, “Yes, Father.”

“The punishment stands,” said Odin.

“Yes.” Thor cleared his throat. “Twice he has suffered it, and he has been watching his words very carefully now.”

Odin gazed at the far-off horizon, his one eye unavailable to Thor. His stance was so still that Thor half-wondered if Odin had gone into a meditative trance. When the old warrior-king finally spoke again, it was to bid Thor good afternoon, and to tell him to not neglect his weapons training.

“And let Loki know that I wish to see him tomorrow morning, at sun-up,” Odin instructed, and swept out of the room, and Thor was left to ponder over the possibilities of that meeting. And a chill stole over Thor for no reason he could elaborate.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

It took Loki almost an hour to get past the shaking, and almost half that time again to slow his racing thoughts.

Was it fear? Loki refused to believe that, but his physical reaction would contradict the statement. He dared not say it aloud; though it had been more than a day since the last occurrence, the sensation of magical thread sewing through the lips was still more painful than Loki could reasonably stand.

Instead of dwelling on that disastrous encounter with Thor, Loki decided to take action.

“Statecraft. That, and then training. Probably sparring – if the Warriors are around, they'll meet him too,” Loki muttered to himself as he pulled out a thin book bound with dragonskin and locked by his own magic. As it fell open to a specific page, Loki grabbed a chest hidden beneath his bed and rifled through the contents. Glass vials tinkled and wobbled as Loki looked for the one nondescript bottle he needed, and then he sighed in satisfaction when he pulled it out from near the bottom of the chest.

He had to do something now. Before it was too late.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Instead of going to the training grounds, Thor walked on the path to Heimdall, allowing the hum of the city to fall behind him. He wanted to know, for certain, if the guardian had seen.

Heimdall was in his usual place, eyes glazed with the power of seeing everything everywhere. When Thor walked up to him, Heimdall said, “Greetings, Thor. The gate is repairing well; it will not be long before the pathways are open again.”

“That is good to hear,” replied the God of Thunder. He was hesitant about bringing up the matter of Loki, yet if he did not do so, the matter would gnaw at him like a canker worm. Taking a deep breath, he said, “Have you seen Loki?”

“I was told to observe him only if he leaves the living quarters of the palace,” said Heimdall, “and he has only done so once thus far.”

“Once?”

“This morning, young prince. He was in the garden with the queen your mother.” Heimdal angled his head slightly as if to listen to a voice that was far away and soft; Thor found himself relaxing a little from some unknown tension. “And he has now ventured into the lower reaches of the palace. I will send word to the king now.”

Thor interrupted. “Let me. I can go back faster than you with Mjolnir by my side.”

“Of course,” Heimdall answered.

Though curiosity prodded Thor to ask the guardian what Loki was doing in the lower reaches, Thor restrained his tongue. A quick whirl of his weapon and Thor was away.

A blink later and Thor was getting to his feet in the palace garden, near the ash. Frigga, who was tending to her plants blossoming for spring, came to her son.

“Is something wrong?” she asked.

Thor shook his head and said, “I wanted to retrieve something from my room, and I didn't wish to dally. Good day, mother; it is good to see you.”

“Thor, wait,” Frigga cut in before Thor could rush off. “Remember I am always here for you, my son, and also for Loki.”

The blond warrior smiled and touched his mother's earth-warmed hands. “I love you, mother.” Then he strode away into the palace, not seeing the forlorn expression in Frigga's lonely gaze.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

The guards were easy to deal with; a simple spell made them crumple to the floor in repose. Loki stole his way down level by level as he had done some seasons ago, when Thor was to receive the kingship, and though his heart misgave him Loki did not turn right nor left from his path. To the untrained eye there was but one door, but Loki knew that there were many gates to pass before he could emerge from the other side, into the vault of treasure beyond understanding.

First the white gate of dreams, then the black gate of horror; the triple gates of golden sunlight, silver moonlight, and the lead of despair; the gate made of the tears of grieving goddesses; the gate from one leaf of Yggdrasil; the gate of euphoria; the gate of madness; the gate of iron, forced open only through the will.

And it was here the last time that Loki was almost deterred; that iron gate was stronger than anything he had ever come up against in a magical duel, and nothing Loki flung at it had opened it, until in his desperation he had announced aloud his real intention to enter the vault, and it swung open silently.

This time there was no rejection. Loki stared at it, his green eyes steadfast and determined.

“Open, in the name of Truth,” he enunciated, his magic completely reined in, “the Truth of which I seek.”

The gate opened and Loki strode forward, head high, and now he was on the other side of the door.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Thor saw the guards asleep, and knew it was magical sleep when he could not wake them. He shoved at the massive doors but they did not open; he pushed again, with his not-inconsiderable might, but resolutely shut they remained.

“Where is he now?” Thor muttered. If he could not open them, how could Loki? Through magic? But Odin had designed these doors; surely they could repel magical attempts to enter it? After all, since the last debacle with Loki's antic, Odin had personally overseen several features being added to the vault: the chief of which was a simple alteration of the locking spell Odin had originally out on it. But the guards were enchanted, and Thor really did not want to get Odin involved. He wanted to go in there and make sure Loki was not doing something foolish, such as trying to get the Tesseract and leave Asgard.

Thor hesitated, thought, and sprinted up the stairs again for his parent.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Loki regarded the treasures in the room, some more desirable than the others. The Casket was in its allotted place, and the Jotun in Loki yearned to hold it once more; the sorcerer quelled the longing.

The Tesseract glittered with potency. Loki smirked coldly at it. Though it was powerful, it was not the item that Thanos had wanted from him. Nevertheless it might be prudent to take it with him, for Loki had an inkling of what might be in store.

But down the row, on the left, in the last-but-one alcove... it was unassumingly ugly, almost gaudy in design, but Loki recognized it from the trances Thanos had placed on him when Loki was his prisoner. The six gems on it were dormant. However, the Liesmith had no doubt that once Thanos set the gauntlet on his hand, the jewels would blaze to life and grant Thanos unimaginable power.

Who knew how much Odin had to go through to secure it in an Asgardian vault?

“I come in the search for truth,” Loki murmured, his pulse racing as he crept towards the mysterious treasure. Though Thanos had shown him some things the gauntlet could do, Loki knew better than to rely solely on the word of the titan. The past few days Loki had been reading up on the origins of this artifact, from where the gems were crafted to the powers they held, until finally Loki identified it as the Infinity Gauntlet.

He stopped right in front of it. For that moment his will wavered; he had half a mind to return to his room and, as Thor had said on Earth, forget his poisonous dream. With a second, deep breath, Loki drank half the potion he brought with him.

Its effects were instantaneous. Loki blinked and there was another Loki, exactly the same, save for the fact that only half of his magic resided in the other one. He touched his own source and knew he had been divided and torn in two.

“Are we ready?” the other Loki asked, his bright green eyes quizzical and nervous.

Loki, the original Loki, nodded. “On three.”

Together, they reached forward, Loki the original and Loki the copy ready to rob the Tesseract and the Infinity Gauntlet, and the former counted, “One. Two. Three.”

They pulled the items out.

The vault abruptly trembled, sending loose shale scattering onto the two Loki Liesmiths below.

“Come here quickly,” shouted the original Loki, and reached for the artifact first. Just as his hand closed around the Tesseract, he heard the main doors to the vault opening. 

The copy of Loki looked shocked, and then narrowed his eyes. “We have to go.”

“You take the Tesseract in your left hand,” said Loki, holding the gauntlet in his right, and the stood next to his copy. “Ready?”

“Yes.”

The brisk thud of heavy footfalls did not distract them. Together, they drank the remainder of the potion, and then there was only one Loki staring at Thor’s flabbergasted and stunned expression, as well as Frigga’s look of despair. Before Thor could move, Loki summoned a thick wall of ice between him and the two.

Thor whispered, “Loki, what have you done?”

Loki smiled humorlessly. “You ought to have asked what I am going to do.” He fired the Tesseract up and a portal opened, the lands beyond familiar and terrifying. Loki tugged on the gauntlet and leaped through it, shutting the way when his soft boots touched gray dust on the world of the Chitauri and Thanos.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Thor smashed his fist against the wall of ice, which barely cracked under pressure, and then he shouted at the empty passage in rage and futile devastation. “Loki, what have you done? What do you want from this?”

“My son, there is nothing we can do here now,” said Frigga quietly, and touched his arm. Then she sighed and added, “I can no longer aid you.”

“Mother, you saw this,” Thor accused, blue eyes blazing. “You can foretell the future. You saw this.”

“I saw this and more, my child, but I cannot act on what I know. And there will come a time soon when you have to choose. I cannot tell you how to choose, only that soon, you will have to choose again between two same options.” The woman smiled faintly through the tears gathering in her eyes. “My son, do not fear loving wrongly. You do not have that in you.”

Thor could sense the ominous thread beneath Frigga’s words, and he whispered, “You know of… of my feelings for Loki?”

“I have seen since the day he fell from the Bifrost.” Frigga shut her eyes and turned away. “I have not told Odin; I did not tell you. You needed to think it through on your own, and now I see that you have.” She took a deep breath. “Let us go to your father, Thor. You will require his assistance.” 

The warrior-prince took the steps before his mother, and she breathed out slowly, her heart breaking, as the future unfolded with Thor’s decision.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Loki unfolded from his half-crouch, and summoned his armor to him. It coalesced out of his magic and he allowed himself to settle into his battle gear. Though the gauntlet felt unwieldy on his left hand, it was still better than not walking into Chitauri lands without a weapon. The artifact called to him, singing arcane hymns to his blood and his magic, but Loki knew better than to trust its power blindly.

“You have come back,” announced the Chitauri leader, emerging from the shadows. The Other made an expression that was nearly a grin. “Give us the Tesseract.”

“After I meet with your master,” said Loki, once again the proud and tall prince of Asgard in his tone. “As I have said previously… I do not like dealing with minions and flunkies.”

The Other hissed and turned on his heel. “You might wish to watch your tongue, little sorcerer-god, in case it is ripped out by the roots.”

Loki smirked. “I doubt you will be the one to do that, but I will take heed of your warning.”

The ascension to the top of the hill was not a tiring one, but Loki knew he was under the intense scrutiny of practically every being within range of sight. It was not he that drew their attention, but the two objects he had in his grasp.

Thanos was much larger than Loki, larger than Thor or Odin, perhaps larger even than the Hulk – Loki did not remember the green creature’s size as much as the brute power it possessed – so when Thanos stood from his seat and looked at Loki, the slender male felt scrutinized, weighed and assessed like a mere insect. The titan’s lips curled as he regarded the gauntlet on Loki’s left hand.

“Give it to me,” he rumbled, not even deigning to stretch his hand out.

Loki lifted his chin. “Tell me what you know. Who is my mother?”

“Give me the gauntlet and I will tell you.” Thanos’ condescending smile faded.

Loki said nothing more. The Tesseract was wedged more tightly against himself, and he angled his left hand slightly to reveal the jewels on the gauntlet. He had a faint idea of how to use it, but since he did not fully understand that weapon, he did not wish to try.

Still, it did give Thanos pause. 

It also gave Loki food for thought.

The titan snorted. Thanos sneered cruelly, “You are the abandoned child of Queen Titania of the Faerie. Make of it what you will.”

“The Faerie?” Loki echoed. “But they are… They are known to desire beauty and glamor. I have seen my father, and he possessed neither.”

“You are a fool,” mocked Thanos. “You wish for the truth, and now I shall give you as much as you can bear and more. I never said it was a consensual pairing, nor were you born out of love. Little Loki Laufeyson, Kinslayer, betrayed and betrayer, sorcerer and liar. You have many names, and you will find that there is no place that will accept you. Titania was exploring the realms and was captured; he took her because she was different; she kept you in her womb because she was curious. And then she abandoned you in Jotunheim when you were a mere babe, because your Jotunn blood repulsed her; Laufey tried to have you killed because your faerie flesh disgusted him.”

“You can’t possibly know this,” Loki stammered, still valiantly holding on to his composure. “How would you know all these things, if secrets they be?”

Thanos laughed, jeering and loud, and the echoes of his heartless mirth rolled back. “I do not sit here in idleness; I am a Titan, of the bloodline of the Eternals and the Deviants. I observe and I learn, or how could I have possibly ripped you from the rough storms of unformed time and space?”

Loki found himself trying to breathe. He had expected something along these lines, he had suspected long ago his magical nature, his ability to cast illusions, and most recently his ability to shift forms between his blue Jotunn skin and pale Asgardian disguise… He clutched the Tesseract. 

“I have given you the Truth; I now ask my fee.” Thanos stood and reached out a large hand. “The gauntlet, Loki.”

“I ask now for safe passage.” 

“You will have it,” said Thanos, but something about the glint in his eyes stayed Loki. 

The God of Mischief and Discord sidled back slowly, but was obstructed from retreat by the Other. Loki cursed in his mind for having forgotten about the Chitauri leader; he was now trapped. However, he knew when he was beaten. The retreat became a courtesy: Loki bent on one knee and proffered the gauntlet, pulling it off his left arm, hoping against hope that he would be able to leave the place alive.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

“You do not appear surprised,” Thor remarked, angered by his father’s serene acceptance of facts.

Odin reached for Gungnir and then looked at his son. “Should I be surprised that a traitor betrays again?”

“Father, how can you so calmly call Loki a traitor? He is your son!” shouted Thor. “If you hadn’t trusted him, why did you let him roam freely about the palace? Why did you allow him his independence?”

“I wanted to see what his next move would be,” Odin countered and led the way to the great hall. The court was streaming in. “And now I see it. We will need to prepare for war: he has betrayed us to madness and death.”

Thor was aghast. “I thought you were going to save Loki.”

“Loki is beyond saving.”

“I cannot accept that-“

“You WILL accept that and lead the fight!” Odin stated harshly, his one eye glittering with contained rage, pausing just before he parted the thick curtains. “If you wish to make yourself acceptable as a king again to our people, then this is your chance. You lead us in this fight. Defeat this enemy, and there will be none who will say that Thor does not deserve the throne.”

The prince stared in dawning comprehension at his father, while Frigga turned away from the scene. Her silent leaving went unnoticed by either father or son, but as the curtains rose the eyes of the full court were now on them.

Thor finally found his voice. He said, softly so the others could not hear, “I see. You had me bring him back for this. This was never about family.”

“This is about Asgard. I am a king. You will become a king.” Odin’s low voice was as much a threat as a promise. “These are going to be your people to lead and to protect; do not fail me now.”

“No,” said Thor, and looked away from his father. “I failed him instead.”

He strode down the stairs and glanced around him, catching the gazes of his loyal friends. The Warriors Three and Sif were staring at him intently.

Thor cleared his throat. “Odin All-Father, the king of Asgard, has bid me lead the preparations for war. And this is what I require you to do.” He cast one look at his father on his throne, and continued, “You will follow the orders of the Warriors Three, who will in turn advise and speak for the leader of this army.”

Odin looked pleased, though he did not smile.

Thor in turn grinned fiercely. “Your leader is Lady Sif.”

“What?”

“Why?”

“ _Her_?”

The rebellious murmurs of the court were soon silenced by the furious glare from Odin, and Thor’s defiant stance at the foot of the stairs. Thor bowed to Sif, and then he nodded at his friends but said nothing, and finally he left the hall, his heavy footfalls a strange heartbeat to the tension pulsing in the room.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who have left kudos and comments - I really appreciated your encouragement and feedback!


	7. Erato

Thor was already on the bridge to seek Heimdall again when Odin appeared in front of him, his anger palpable.

"Why did you turn away?" he demanded. "Your destiny awaits and you turn from it? And you put Sif in charge of your army? Would a good king leave his people behind in the hands of an untested warrior, let alone a woman?"

"I may not ever be a good king," replied Thor stiffly, unflinching despite Odin's rage, "but I will try to be a good man. Do not assume I am leaving Asgard to its destruction. I know what I am doing, Father. Now please let me pass.”

Odin did not budge. “You are my son and I mean to guide you in redeeming yourself in the eyes of the aesir.”

“I will earn their respect through my own actions, Father of mine, and not through your machinations. Sif still has much to prove, and she will therefore do her best to protect our realm. You might wish to counsel her in matters of war instead of confronting me."

Odin stepped forward, Gungnir at the ready. "You mean to leave?"

"I mean to do what is right by my heart and my soul." Thor's right hand flexed slightly around the hilt of Mjolnir. "I have every reason not to fight Loki. You set him up, Odin Gallows-God; you set up this scenario in which we will have to war with the unknown enemy, just because you want me to become a king. I am no puppet, and I will not fight this war."

"Sif will," said Odin. "Do you think her fair hands will shed no blood?"

"I think she will be more cautious of the blood she does shed in this baseless war, since she has too much pride to lose," said Thor evenly, meeting his father's stormy glare. "As do you."

Gungnir began to glow. Odin growled, "You will not leave Asgard."

"I will not stay, knowing Loki is out there," Thor enunciated carefully, summoning up his own tempest. "You sent Loki to his doom - I will save him from it."

"And you doom yourself for it," barked the one-eyed king, and he fired Gungnir. A flash of magic erupted from the king's spear and Thor defended himself, the impact sending him skidding back a few feet. Mjolnir was singing in his hand, so violent the attack, and Thor raised his eyes to his father. Odin was implacable now, advancing with the tips of his weapon glowing in arcane magic.

Thor retreated slowly, aware that in a full-on fight of powers he was no match, but in his youth and strength he had the upper hand. He must not perish here, or be incapacitated; Loki was waiting. He had to be. Thor could not imagine that Loki had willingly betrayed Asgard again – the Liesmith had not even the heart to kill two lowly guards in the palace, but he had no qualms slaughtering the humans in Midgard.

Loki would not be abandoned to his doom, whatever Odin said.

Yet he did not want to attack his father. Digging his heels in, Thor braced himself for the next volley, sensing that Odin was again garnering his power, but Odin did not attack.

"Why do you disappoint me again?" asked Odin, his voice old and tired. "My son, all I ever wanted was to see you reign, well-loved by our people, wise and happy."

"If wisdom dictates that I abandon one whom I have loved all my life," retorted the God of Thunder, "then I can only disappoint you, Father. Happiness will never be mine until Loki is once again restored to my side, until he fights beside me and counsels me as he used to."

"He is a lost cause, and better left to his fate."

Something about Odin's words snapped Thor's patience with his father.

"You took him in!" Thor roared angrily. "You took him in, fed him, clothed him, made him call you father, and you made us brothers!" In his fury Thor unleashed one bolt from Mjolnir, just as an emphasis, and it knocked Odin back a few staggering steps. "YOU made us _brothers_! If you have never loved him, why did you give him a family to love and then force him from it?"

Odin looked at Thor with growing ire. "How dare you accuse me of such complicity!?"

Before father and son could launch a full scale assault on each other, Frigga arrived, hair wild from running, Sif and Hogun escorting her.

"Stay this madness!" she cried. “Odin! Thor!”

It was not Odin who withdrew his weapon first, but at last the one-eyed Gallows God obeyed after a moment's hesitation. Thor had dropped his arm the instant he heard Frigga's plea, and if his gaze at her was less than forgiving it was also much less admonitory than the way Thor had looked at Odin.

Frigga breathed heavily and made her way to her husband. “Odin, open the way. To Thanos.”

“Who is that?” asked Thor. “Is he holding Loki hostage?”

“Why should I try to save Loki?” Odin growled. “He stole from the vault for his own gain, and gave up the treasures willingly. I will not save him; he has brought war and conflict to this realm.”

Thor almost protested again, but his words died abruptly on his lips and he gaped in shock.

Frigga slapped Odin.

“You brought him to me to raise as my child,” she said calmly, but her shoulders were shaking with the effort not to lose her temper. “I have done as you requested. You may be the king, but I am the queen of Asgard, and I love this realm no less than you. Yet I prize my sons far more than you have ever done.”

“Frigga-”

“For once, Odin of the Gallows, Odin of the Wolves, Odin of the Crows, you will listen rather than just hear,” Frigga seethed. “I have not spoken before this because things had to develop, but Thor's path is his path, and you will not force him to raise his hand to his father because of your willful stubbornness! My son is trapped among enemies; I will not have you leave him there. I will not have Loki abandoned. Again.”

Hogun, Sif and Thor glanced at each other, suddenly uncomfortable with what should have been a private exchange between the king and queen of Asgard. Instead, the three waited, holding their breaths, trying not to be noticed.

Odin gazed at his wife for a moment, seeming to read something in her face, and then his stance softened. He sighed and regarded Thor.

“If you will, then go to him,” he said coldly. “But Loki will not be welcomed here again.”

Thor stared at Odin. “But where then can he go? There is no place for him but here.”

“He will have to find his way then,” said Odin. “I charge you to bring home the two treasures: the Gauntlet, and the Tesseract. They are to be in Asgard, safe and secure, before the next moonrise. Any later than that, and we stand little chance against Thanos and his Chitauri army.”

Frigga's small smile was not lost on any of those present, and when she embraced Odin around his neck the younger Asgardians let them be.

Hogun nodded at Thor and the God of Thunder went to his friend. Hogun and Sif clustered near him and the grim man asked, “What will you have us do, my friend?”

“Do you need us to go with you to...” Sif seemed unhappy about the words she was about to say, but she said them anyway, “to rescue Loki?”

Thor patted their shoulders gently. “Keep Asgard safe, my friends, and I will thank you from the bottom of my heart. Hogun, I entrust you with the lives of all I hold dear, including your own. Sif, you have in you a mind that rivals the best strategist of all the aesir, and that is tempered with womanly intuition. Do not fear; we are the best warriors and fighters. We are as gods to the lesser beings of the lower realms. Our people are brave, and they will learn how good a leader you can be.”

“Thor, I-”

“Sif. I trust you. Should I not return in the time stipulated, then be ready for full battle.” The prince straightened and said, “Take care of my parents.”

When Thor turned back to Odin, the two shared a gaze that was both filled with resentment and forgiveness, and Odin summoned the magic that would transport Thor to Loki's side once more.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Loki was not chained, yet he stood never further than five feet from Thanos.

Loki was not gagged, yet he was silent, his green eyes scanning over the craggy landscape.

Loki was not poisoned, yet he could feel his insides writhing and twisting as Chitauri in their thousands gathered and massed, each armed to the teeth.

 _I overestimated myself_ , the slim God of Mischief thought. _I hope I did not overestimate Odin and Thor._

“The Asgard warriors will fall, as well as all other beings,” Thanos said quietly. He angled his massive head slightly to look at Loki out of the corner of his eyes. “You claim to not love them, but every single gesture and expression tells of your worry for them. It is pathetic.”

Loki did not answer. When the Chitauri had formed ranks, the Other ascended to higher ground to address the army, and that was when Loki asked, “Why do you wish for this?”

“Because it is a fitting tribute for my love,” the titan answered, his lips curving in an approximation of a gentle smile. “Deaths of minute insects mean nothing – I seek an extravagance for her, and in the deaths of the worthy that she might be honored.”

“She must be someone special,” remarked Loki.

“She is. She has always been, and will always be.” Thanos' tender mood darkened and he jeered at Loki, “If you weren't a wretched reject and traitor, you would have been the first tribute. You should feel ashamed.”

“Mostly I feel alive,” Loki retorted, and almost flinched when Thanos flexed his right arm with the gauntlet. The gems were brighter now, though not ablaze with power yet, so Loki had to assume that Thanos needed to harness the energy of the gems before he unleashed Ragnarok.

The titan did not react to Loki's impertinence. Instead, he ordered, “Leave me. I wish to commune with my lady love.”

Loki took the chance to steal away to an outcropping. He knew he could not escape the place, not yet; the Other held the Tesseract. Instead he watched Thanos sit on his throne and slowly lean his head on a beefy arm.

“Who is his love?” Loki wondered aloud.

Little was known about the titans of old, at least in the Asgard library. Odin might have some information on them, but Loki was not likely to ask Odin anything anytime soon. The God of Discord allowed his fingers to run over the jagged and rough surface of the stone; he needed a weapon, something he could wield as a focus for his magic, and a defense if need be.

Slowly he gathered power to his hands as he drew out the minute bits of metal from the dead stone and thin air. Those with no magic would imagine that he was crafting a staff out of nothing; Loki knew it was an effort of will that concentrated the needed elements, scattered like stars across galaxies, into what he wanted. When he was done, a staff as long as he was tall had coalesced in his hands, gleaming with a sheen of new-polished metal. Its head was a simple bladed curve, long and wicked, and Loki considered briefly before he adjusted it, so that it was a double-edged weapon.

A deafening thunderclap crashed across the gray skies outside, interrupting Loki's thoughts. The sorcerer peered out from the outcropping and was stunned by the tumult. Lightning stabbed in erratic lines from the sky, while Chitauri soldiers were smashed against the rocks that dotted the landscape.

In the middle of the violent tempest was Thor, his red cape flying as he swung Mjolnir wildly. As another Chitauri was sent sprawling into a dozen others, he bellowed, “LOKI!”

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Thor was not surprised to have landed so close to Chitauri soldiers; he was surprised that he was not dead on his immediate arrival. Apparently they had been too startled at his sudden appearance to kill him, and he had not wasted the opportunity nor offered the same consideration.

Mjolnir was rejoicing with the battle, its power blazing at its zenith. As Thor wielded his hammer to shield himself from multiple blasts and at the same time attack the Chitauri, he wondered if Loki was anywhere nearby at all.

“Loki!” he shouted again, hoping that Loki was at least free to reply him. The storm crackled around him and repeatedly he swung the hammer, knowing that it was a close to nothing chance of him leaving this unscathed.

 _Sif will protect Asgard,_ _as will all my friends_ , he told himself as a blast hit his side and he killed the soldier responsible. Guilt gnawed at Thor; he could not help shaking the thought that he had walked to his death, and abandoned his post. He forced the guilt away. _Father would save the realm from destruction._

_But Loki only has me._

_I will not abandon him._

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Loki stood and watched the scene of pure destruction unfold before his eyes. Thor enraged was beautiful, a warrior-king of legend; his face, alight with bloodlust and intent; red cape a banner of death; the lightning a dance of his prowess.

As he watched, Loki was momentarily lost in a trance of delight. Always, always had Thor been the center of every battle, and Loki had always been on the periphery, cutting down the weak, ensuring that only the worthy would meet their doom at Thor's hands. And Loki had always watched out for his supposed older brother, and every sense in Loki's body would be attuned to where Thor was. As it was now: despite the flailing limbs and complete chaos below, where Chitauri upon Chitauri tried to pile on to the wolf that had invaded its fold, Loki could tell exactly where Thor was and what he was doing.

And it seemed that Thor could do the same. Loki was astounded when Thor suddenly flew out of the horde and landed right in front of him. The burly prince was bloodied and bruised, but still upright, and he blocked a few blasts from the soldiers before grabbing Loki by the forearm.

“Are you all right?” he asked, but Loki had not answered when a particularly strong beam caught Thor right between the shoulder blades and sent him crashing forward into Loki's arms. The God of Thunder then slid to Loki's feet, as if knocked out. Mjolnir dropped from Thor's beefy hand.

The Other, on his own outcropping, snarled, “Kill him.”

Loki glanced at the Other, then at Thanos who was now taking an interest in the proceedings, and smiled obsequiously. “My lord, I am not a worthy tribute to your lady love, but is Thor mighty enough?”

Thanos grinned. “I would accept that.”

Loki bowed, and grabbed Thor by the throat, dragging him to his feet. Thor's head lolled slightly and his gait was clumsy. Loki angled his newly-crafted spear across Thor's neck and said, “I will bring him to you, my lord Thanos.”

“Bring him to me then,” the titan commanded. Thanos' dark glee was not lost on anyone.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Though winded, Thor was not completely incapacitated, and he knew that Loki knew it. He saw the smirk on Loki's face, calculative and dangerous, and for a moment Thor was concerned. Then he caught brilliant green eyes looking at him briefly.

“Leave Mjolnir,” hissed Loki, “and collapse at my feet. Now.”

He made his decision right there and followed Loki's instructions. When he heard Loki's words, Thor could feel his muscles tensing, and a nudge from Loki's foot reminded him to play along. Having Loki's weapon so close to his neck made Thor a little apprehensive, but he forced himself to stumble and stagger as though he had lost his bearings.

While they walked towards Thanos, Thor heard mutters and hissed curses at both himself and Loki; he wondered if his trust was not misplaced.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Thor's acquiescence surprised Loki, but the sorcerer showed no outward acknowledgment of his astonishment. Instead he marched Thor to the seat of the titan, careful that his blade did not mar the skin on Thor's neck.

When they were at the base of the flight of steps leading to Thanos, there were no Chitauri around, and Loki remarked softly, “Why did you come?”

“Because you are here,” replied Thor equally quietly.

Loki snorted and pushed Thor forward, his spear now pointed to the back of his neck. “All the way up to the top,” he instructed, and said no more.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Thanos was eager to kill; he could barely restrain himself from reaching forward and crushing Thor. Loki could see the glittering gems on the gauntlet, each pulsing with a strong light. The Liesmith stepped aside to the left of Thor, leaving the God of Thunder alone to face Thanos.

“Thor Odinson, you are my first Asgardian blood amongst many to be shed for Mistress Death. I dedicate your death to my lady,” declared Thanos, and raised his right arm.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Once Thanos had Thor in his sights, the blond prince knew immediately what Loki intended and summoned Mjolnir to him.

Loki swung his double-edged blade in a downwards arc and cut through Thanos' arm; the edge so sharp that even the titan's bones did not slow its terrible motion. The Liesmith darted away from Thano's fury and grabbed the arm, now bleeding on the rocky ground, and ripped the gauntlet off it.

His head was almost smashed by Thanos' other fist, but Thor blocked the blow and returned it with Mjolnir. Thanos merely roared, taking not even a step back from the impact, and both gods took to their heels, Loki leading the way and Thor behind. The mad titan followed, his blood smoking as drops of it hit the ground.

“Loki, where is the Tesseract?” Thor shouted, and again held off another punch from the injured titan. “We'll need it to get home!”

Loki pointed with his spear and fired a blast of magic at the leader of the Chitauri, who was directing the soldiers to attack. “The Other has it.”

Suddenly Thor had grabbed him by the waist and they were _flying_ – Loki had never flown with Thor before other than that clash back in Midgard, and that time it was more of an extended fall – and the flight was too short, both landing at the same outcrop of rock where the Other was.

Mjolnir fired off a blast at the Other, before Thor rushed forward to engage the Chitauri leader in a fight, while Loki scrambled forward to get to the Tesseract which had been placed at the Other's feet. The artifact was still dormant and Loki quickly pushed magic into it, awakening the immense power within. Then Loki opened the portal to Asgard.

“Thor!” he shouted, and then he fired off consecutive blasts of magic when the Chitauri legions started climbing up the rock to get to the pair. The God of Fire and Ice, Loki called up illusions of himself and blasted ice and green flames at all who drew close. Thor was still battling the Other, forcing the leader towards the edge. Then Loki caught sight of the enormous titan striding closer, shoving aside the army, the burning rage in his mad eyes now replaced with chilly determination. “ _THOR!_ ” he screamed, knowing that they must flee now. Thanos was getting too close, they could not possibly hope to hold him off again-

A shriek drew Loki's attention. The Other had just toppled off the outcropping and Thor was racing back, and he caught Loki about the waist again with one arm, his other hand grabbing the Tesseract, and the God of Thunder did not even slow as he and Loki crashed towards the portal.

Out of the corner of his eye Loki saw Thanos' raised arm and he twisted his body to cover Thor's back. Thanos only had time to land one single blow on Loki before the two gods were falling through space towards Asgard.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

“We're safe,” gasped Thor, adrenaline still rushing through his veins as they collapsed on the Bifrost.

Loki panted heavily and wet his lips. “Take... take the Infinity Gauntlet and go back to Odin. These belong in the vault.”

“Come with me,” urged the prince, staggering to his feet, encumbered by the unwieldy box. “Come back with me, and let Father see that you have redeemed yourself.”

“Twice a traitor I have been, Thor Odin's son, and I will not be welcome in that golden hall again. Go, Thor. Return to Odin what I took from him,” said Loki quietly.

Thor still seemed reluctant to part with Loki. “Stay here until I return, Loki, don't go anywhere.”

“Where can I go?” The slim brunet rolled onto his back, staring at the immense sky overhead, full of glittering stars. “There is no place I know of that I can call home.”

The God of Thunder could not find an appropriate response to that, and instead elected to go to the palace with both artifacts tightly secured. Loki watched him go, watched the fluttering of the red cape as it receded into the distance. Then he tried to climb to his knees, failed, and started hacking up gobs of blood as his body attempted to heal itself.

“You see everything, Heimdall,” he commented.

Heimdall from his post nodded silently.

Loki smiled. “Is Thanos coming here?”

“He has no means of coming here.”

“The Chitauri?”

“They have become the targets of Thanos' wrath.”

Loki grinned and fell over again. “Good,” he breathed heavily, feeling the wetness accumulating in his lungs. _Too much damage to heal quickly,_ he mused, _and too damaged to heal in the first place._

“You should go to the healing halls.” Heimdall sounded sympathetic.

“I should,” agreed Loki, “but you know that I will not.” Loki coughed again, the agony pooling in his chest. “Heimdall... do you see Faerie? Could you tell me a little more about it? About its people?”

“It is perpetual winter there,” said Heimdall. “The Queen is fickle and capricious, and her people are delighting in their usual pursuits.”

Loki smiled. “Sounds... sounds like a pleasant... pleasant place.” With some breath regained, Loki struggled to stand again, and this time he could get to his knees. “What kind, what kind of pursuits?”

“They hunt. They are very good at hunting, and at keeping things alive,” said Heimdall, his face impassive and expressionless. “For hours, sometimes.”

Understanding what Heimdall was saying, Loki chuckled and groaned at the pain his mirth had brought. “Glamorous and terrifying. I should've... I should've been raised there, shouldn't I?”

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

“You've come home,” declared Volstagg and wrapped Thor in a hug. “What's this – blood? You've been in a battle already and you did not call for us to aid you?”

“I went to retrieve some things of my father's,” said Thor, gently disengaging himself from Volstagg's exuberance and putting his weapon down at the gate.

Fandral was discussing something with Hogun, and the grim warrior excused himself and walked over to Thor. “Things went the way they should?”

“Yes,” answered Thor. “Now I need to persuade Father.”

Hogun patted Thor's shoulder and returned to Fandral, but his silent support reassured Thor. Odin was in his golden seat, while Sif had with her a sheaf of papers; Thor supposed the warrior was presenting battle plans. “Father, here is the Infinity Gauntlet, and here is the Tesseract.”

“I am glad you have shown yourself worthy,” said Odin. “Lady Sif, those are good plans, but we have no need of them now.”

“That is a good thing, my king,” said Sif with a smile, and when she looked at Thor her gladness was not feigned.

When Sif had descended the flight of steps, Thor put the items at Odin's feet and remained kneeling. “Father, let Loki come home.”

“This is not his home,” said the old king.

“He helped me get the treasures back,” Thor stated hopefully.

Odin regarded Thor with some pity. “He stole them in the first place, and I have little reason to trust him. If he comes here, he will be a prisoner; the people of Asgard will not rest easy otherwise.”

“Yet he has redeemed himself-”

“-for a theft, Thor, but what of the lives he has taken?” Odin stood. “He risked all of the realms for his own selfish desires, Thor.”

“Loki only wishes-” Suddenly Thor realized what Loki had done, and what he was likely to do. “I have to go.”

He turned and ran from the hall, calling for Mjolnir, hoping that he was not too late.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Loki had made his slow and painful way to the edge. He could not find his feet; his legs shook when he tried to stand. He peered down and had to swallow against the fear. The galaxies swirled below, and the realms beckoned; the God of Lies could feel his heart thundering in his ears.

 _It's so beautiful,_ he thought.

Suddenly Thor landed on the Bifrost bridge. “Loki,” he called out, afraid to startle the Jotunn.

Loki looked back over his shoulder. “You weren't supposed to come back here yet,” said the dark-haired sorcerer in a resigned tone. “Don't you ever follow the script?”

“Loki, don't move,” ordered Thor, inching slowly forwards. “Please, I beg of you, stay still.”

“And stay here?” Loki rolled up on one elbow to regard Thor. “I don't belong here. I don't belong to Jotunheim; I don't belong to Faerie. Why should I stay still then?”

“Faerie?”

“I went to Thanos because he knows who my birth mother is,” Loki explained tiredly. Then he smiled, and the smile became more pained as he went on. “My mother is of the faerie folk. So here is Loki, Thor son of Odin. Half-Jotunn, half-faerie. A cursed being. I am Loki, the Liesmith, the Trickster, the God of Fire and Ice, the God of Discord and Destruction, and the unwanted bastard son of a king and a queen.”

Thor could feel his own heart twisting in agony for Loki. “You are not unwanted,” he said, stepping closer and stopping when he saw that Loki was levering himself forward a little more.

“Who wants me then?” demanded the slim god. “Who wants me? Odin is never going to forgive me, nor are the people of Asgard. Frigga cannot decide if she still loves me as a child or to follow her husband's decision, and I will not have her choose someone not of her flesh over the lord of her life. Jotunheim itself stands but its inhabitants will tear me apart should I go there; the faerie folk will never accept a non-faerie into its folds. Midgard... If the Midgard defenders, the Avengers as Stark called you, even knows I am there, war will break out again. Who wants me, Thor? There is no place that I know that wants me there.”

“I want you.” The statement cut into Loki's plaintive questions. Thor's admission was frank and sincere, and almost frightened. “I want you.”

Loki's smile shook and faded. “I cannot stay here with you, Thor. This is not my place.”

Before Thor could say anything further, Loki pushed himself and he fell over the edge of the bridge. Thor rushed forwards and reached down, grasping Loki's wrist just in time.

“No,” he gasped. “Not again. Loki, not again! I cannot watch you fall again!”

“Let go,” whispered Loki. “Be a good king.”

A solid thump behind Thor startled the blond prince, and when he peered over his shoulder he saw Odin striding towards them.

Thor was relieved. “Father, you've come.”

“To break the spell that binds his life to yours,” said Odin, dashing all hope for his son. The Gallows-God looked down at Loki, hanging from Thor's hand. “Loki, all you need to do is to repent.”

Loki grinned humorlessly at Odin. “And do you repent of your lies, Odin All-Father?”

The one-eyed king frowned and the tip of Gungnir glowed. Thor abruptly realized what Odin was about to do and he made a decision.

“Tell Mother I’m sorry,” said Thor, and pushed himself off Bifrost, still holding on to Loki as they fell.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Loki groaned and let his head roll back. Thor wasn't faring much better as he sat up and grunted, flexing his arms and shoulders.

“That was not as bad as the first time,” said Loki after a moment. “Of course, I was not quite as badly injured as I was this time.”

“You have recovered?” asked Thor, surprised, running his hands over the ribs where he knew Thanos had landed one punch.

Loki squirmed and sat up, shoving away Thor's hands. “Most of it,” he admitted. “It was just a little worse than the Hulk's attack on me.”

“That's good,” said Thor. Then he blustered, “I meant, it's good that you have recovered, not that you were-”

“-flung around like a child's plaything and smashed repeatedly into the floor? I understand.” Loki's smile was mischievous, almost innocently so, and Thor felt a pang in his heart. Loki explained, “We must have been falling for some time; we just don't experience it properly.” He looked around himself, noting the lack of buildings and the clean air and clear evening sky above him. “I don't recognize this realm.”

“It doesn't matter where we are,” said Thor, reaching over to brush dirt smears from Loki's cheek

Thor's feelings must have been transparent on his face; Loki flushed and looked away. His elegant fingers started plucking randomly at the grass.

Finally, the dark-haired Liesmith said, “Why did you come with me? Asgard needs you.”

“I need you more than Asgard needs me,” said Thor, gently moving closer, heartened when Loki did not move away. “And what about you, Loki? Why did you return the gauntlet to me? You could have used it for anything you wanted.”

“It would have been pointless,” said Loki dully. His hands stopped pulling at the blades of grass. “What I wanted I would never have been able to get.”

“What did you want?” asked Thor.

“What do _you_ want?” retorted Loki.

Thor smiled and whispered, “I want you.”

Loki blushed again but he did not shy away. His shoulders shook slightly and he swallowed in trepidation. “Thor?”

“Yes?”

“Do you really want me?”

“Yes.”

Loki pressed his lips together and then carefully edged forward, touching his mouth to Thor. He murmured, “Do you love me?”

“I love you,” replied Thor, thrilled by how Loki was sidling closer and how the younger male had placed his nervous hands on Thor's knees. The God of Thunder kept his hands to himself, however, sternly reminding himself not to rush this.

Loki's breath was sweet, tinted faintly by blood, but his mouth was sweeter as he kissed Thor of his own volition for the first time, slick tongue probing Thor's mouth with nervous desire. The older male moaned and cautiously put his hands on Loki's hips, sliding up to hold his back, and then angling his mouth to allow further exploration by the inexperienced Liesmith. Their breaths mingled and then Loki tangled his hands into silky golden hair, clutching and whimpering as he claimed Thor's kisses, and when he pulled away both of them were panting and their eyes slightly glazed over.

Loki licked his lips slowly, as if tasting what Thor left on his skin, and Thor held his breath to control himself.

The younger brunet's smile returned. “I never hated you,” he confessed quietly. “Even when... even when we were fighting, I hoped that you could see how much I wanted to prove my worth. To you and to Odin.”

“You have never been unworthy,” Thor replied hoarsely.

“I wasn't myself, was I?” asked Loki, threading his fingers through Thor's hair, unaware of the effect on the older god. “Were you angry with me?”

Thor made himself focus on the conversation. “Quite a bit, but I knew what I needed to do was to bring you home.”

“I don't have a home.”

“You do,” said Thor, wrapping his large arms around Loki and squeezing slightly. “Your home is with me.”

Loki scoffed and tried to wiggle out of Thor's hold, only to discover that though he had no way to do so. “Thor, release me,” he ordered with as much hauteur as he could summon in his awkward position.

“Kiss me again and then I’ll let you go,” Thor said teasingly.

Green eyes narrowed, as if Loki was not sure if Thor was joking, and then thin lips pushed at Thor's again, this time with _teeth_ , and Thor decided then and there that he was going to convince Loki thoroughly not to want to escape even when Thor released his embrace.

Thor succeeded.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Tony Stark was in Japan while his tower was being repaired. He was certain that the people Pepper picked – he grinned at his own wit – would very likely mess up his very specific schematics, and thus was making plans on how to correct and improve upon the design for his penthouse. A wider view with impact-resistant glass would be necessary. New York's skyline was lovely, but he did not fancy having to order Dum-E to pick up glass shards again. The robot kept picking up the carpet instead of what it had been ordered to do.

Still, there was something to be said for the lovely view here in Sado. The ocean was truly peaceful today, and Tony sipped his vodka happily as he watched the sun set.

[Sir, there appear to be two persons on your lawn,] Jarvis reported.

“Don't we have security around the house?” asked Tony.

[Sir, they did not come towards the house, sir,] said Jarvis with a slightly reproachful tone. [They do not seem to be aware of the house, in fact.]

Tony rolled his eyes. He must have been nuts to program Jarvis with a personality. Genius, but nuts. The estate was quite large, and there was no neighbor around that could bother Tony (whether he bothered others was, of course, not his consideration). “Well, I’ll take a look. Bring up the scene.”

He took one glance, and then covered his eyes. “That's enough. I’m scarred for life, thank you. Uh, when they're done, let me know.” Then he paused. “Record what's happening, just for, uh, records.”

[Of course sir. Should I put in an encryption for the video file?]

“Yes, please. Triple the encryption, in fact, thank you.” Tony put down his drink and wondered if he ought to have another one. Or maybe five.

He sighed and rolled his eyes. “Aren't they supposed to be brothers?”

 

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Loki whined when Thor shifted slightly. “You're acting as my pillow. Pillows don't move,” scolded Loki.

“The grass is ticklish, and there are insects,” said Thor, feeling a little guilty, but relaxed ecstasy and complete satiation were the more dominant emotions.

“Your cape isn't big enough,” said Loki, snuggling closer.

“We should look for shelter, Loki,” said Thor. “The moon has risen for some time.”

Loki merely snorted and refused to budge. His long limbs were draped over Thor's, and the older male had a delicious view of Loki's lithe muscles. The cape was not big enough, covering only the most essential parts, and thus when he suddenly saw Tony Stark descending in his suit Thor completely overreacted, throwing Mjolnir overarm and smashing the man into a tree beyond.

Finally Loki sat up, his bare torso pale and beautiful in the moonlight, and Thor wanted to ravish him once again, despite having just introduced Loki to the delights of carnal relations a few hours ago. The God of Mischief pulled Thor's cape out from under Thor and wrapped it about himself, leaving Thor to fumble for his pants, and stood up to greet Tony Stark who was growling with annoyance.

“I came to offer my guest room and I get a hammer to the chest? Bros before... well, bros, I guess, but Thor, attacking before questioning is a very bad habit you have to break,” Stark grumbled. He snorted. “You two made up then, I see.”

“You said you came to offer a guest room,” said Loki smoothly. Despite being rumpled, entirely naked and covered only by a red cape, he looked as if he was a prince giving a peasant the honor of speaking.

Stark smirked. “It's nearby. You might wish to put on some clothes before you get there, though I think they'll be coming off again – right, Thor?”

“We are on Midgard?”

“Yes, big blond thunder guy, you're on Earth, yes. Look, if you two are all lovey-dovey, I’m not gonna tell on you to Fury, but he does keep some tabs on me so you might wanna learn how to lie low.” Stark waited. “What?”

Thor narrowed his eyes. “Turn around.”

“Oh, for Chr- Fine. Now you get all shy and retiring.” Stark turned around and said, “I don't know what you do on Asgard, but generally speaking, people on Earth don't bone their evil brothers.”

A tap on Stark's shoulder indicated that Loki had put on some of his clothes; the capes remained thrown haphazardly over Thor's arm.

Thor took Loki's hand and smiled tenderly. Then he frowned. “Bone?”

“Uh, I keep forgetting. You don't speak American. It means to fornicate with your sibling whom you captured just a fortnight ago for attempting to take over the world.”

Thor tugged Loki closer and Loki allowed the show of dominance. The God of Thunder said, “We're not brothers.”

“Then what are we?” asked Loki, tilting his head to look Thor in the eye. A small smile played on the edges of his mouth.

“We're family,” said Thor, and bent to kiss Loki again.

Stark rolled his eyes once more. He had better put in soundproofing as soon as he could. At least the guest room used futons instead of breakable beds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your support and love.  
> If more ideas come to me regarding these two, I shall endeavor to present them.


End file.
